IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
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The domestic growth has been considered by some authorities that advancement of
economy
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the economy
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 is significant objective while those who argue that other
factors
Use synonyms
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 developed in various
countries
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 have a crucial role whether environments and transportation structures. In my opinion, the progress in each country relies on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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numerous
factors
Use synonyms
 not only an economic improvement, and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both these views. On the one hand, the economic movement is vital for states.
This
Linking Words
 movement indicates the stability of nations and a lot of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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 which
is provide
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is provided
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 by
government
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the government
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such
Linking Words
 as high wages and an opportunity in search occupations to their individuals.
For example
Linking Words
, developed
countries
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 have efficient regulations in encouragement in favour of economic growth, so these have been
improvement
Replace the word
improved
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 rapidly and continuously for their population.
In addition
Linking Words
, their citizens have a quality life because they earn a high salary due to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 efficient jobs and
also
Linking Words
 afford whatever they want and need to lifestyles.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the economy has one of the main
factors
Use synonyms
 in every domain.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that environments and domestic transportations have an influence
with
Change preposition
on
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 many people. These should be more
concern
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concerned
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 since it relies on health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 and
safety
Correct article usage
the safety
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 of humans.
In other words
Linking Words
, in cities where
have
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to have
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 a large number of vehicles on the road, these ones lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution. So, most citizens are
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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 regarding
breath
Correct article usage
the breath
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 system.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people, who are in the cities and must travel to work or study by public transportations, purchase these utilizations in daily life. Nowadays, these are ancient and not
security
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secure
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, most individuals commute to work by old buses as soon as they get in on buses some materials on
this
Linking Words
 fall on their head.
Hence
Linking Words
, these reasons play on a general community. In
conclude
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conclusion
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, the advancement of
countries
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 depends on various
factors
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consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
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 of: economy and infrastructures in
existence
Add an article
the existence
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 of nations.
Also
Linking Words
, the administrative agency should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
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in
Change preposition
of
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improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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whole
Change preposition
of whole
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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