IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
The domestic growth has been considered by some authorities that advancement of
economy
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the economy
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 is significant objective while those who argue that other
factors
 which
is
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are
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 developed in various
countries
 have a crucial role whether environments and transportation structures. In my opinion, the progress in each country relies on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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numerous
factors
 not only an economic improvement, and
this
 essay will discuss both these views. On the one hand, the economic movement is vital for states.
This
 movement indicates the stability of nations and a lot of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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 which
is provide
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is provided
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 by
government
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the government
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such
 as high wages and an opportunity in search occupations to their individuals.
For example
, developed
countries
 have efficient regulations in encouragement in favour of economic growth, so these have been
improvement
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improved
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 rapidly and continuously for their population.
In addition
, their citizens have a quality life because they earn a high salary due to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 efficient jobs and
also
 afford whatever they want and need to lifestyles.
Therefore
, the economy has one of the main
factors
 in every domain.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that environments and domestic transportations have an influence
with
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on
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 many people. These should be more
concern
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concerned
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 since it relies on health
problem
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problems
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 and
safety
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the safety
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 of humans.
In other words
, in cities where
have
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to have
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 a large number of vehicles on the road, these ones lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air pollution. So, most citizens are
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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 regarding
breath
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the breath
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 system.
Furthermore
, people, who are in the cities and must travel to work or study by public transportations, purchase these utilizations in daily life. Nowadays, these are ancient and not
security
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secure
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.
For instance
, most individuals commute to work by old buses as soon as they get in on buses some materials on
this
 fall on their head.
Hence
, these reasons play on a general community. In
conclude
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conclusion
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, the advancement of
countries
 depends on various
factors
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
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 of: economy and infrastructures in
existence
Add an article
the existence
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 of nations.
Also
, the administrative agency should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
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in
Change preposition
of
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improvement
Correct article usage
the improvement
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whole
Change preposition
of whole
show examples
countries
.
Submitted by tugsaphorn.sun on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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