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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion

#technology #people #viewpoints
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The use of modern
technology
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 has become a matter of debate, for a few years all over the world. Some
individuals
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 claim that it has brought
people
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 closer than before,
whereas
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 others admit that pupils have separated
due to
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 the onset of new
technology
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. The following paragraphs will shed light on both notions
as well as
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 my opinion. On the one hand, modern
technology
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 has made long-distance connectivity very easy. To elaborate, the invention of mobile phones helps
individuals
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 to stay connected with their loved ones, who are living in different cities or countries, through messages and audio, and video calls. Social media
also
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 allow
individuals
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 to upload their regular activities on apps
such
Linking Words
 as Instagram and Facebook to keep their near ones updated pf their wellbeing. To exemplify, one can watch pictures, stories, and the screening
time
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 of another person every day.
Thus
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, it helps
people
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 to stay stress-free and make the bond stronger with their family and friends.
Besides
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, transportation is another factor that assists
individuals
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 to meet their family and friends, in less
time
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, when they feel homesickness.
For example
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, electric cars take less
time
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 to go somewhere as compared to bicycles.
Therefore
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, modern
technology
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 has offered more to keep
people
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 closer.
On the other hand
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, it is true that excessive use of these technological gadgets has driven
people
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 away from each other.
Individuals
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, especially youngsters, have become habitual to
this
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 advancement and they start spending all their precious
time
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 surfing the internet
due to
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 which they get disconnected from their family and friends.
Moreover
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, the different mindsets of different age groups are another factor that has made
people
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 apart. Elderly
people
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 are not very compatible with modern
technology
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 as they prefer using traditional ways for everything.
For example
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, the modern generation likes to sit in a room where the air conditioner is installed,
however
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, older
people
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 like to sit in natural air which allows no
time
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 to sit together and express their feelings to each other. In conclusion,
although
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 the invention of recent
technology
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 has driven
people
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 away,
however
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, I believe that it offers more reasons to bring them together.
Submitted by kknavdeep2000 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance flow.
task achievement
To further improve task response, consider including a few more specific examples or statistics if applicable.
task achievement
You have clearly presented both perspectives and provided your own opinion, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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