Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool.Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people whoplay them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
There is a controversial debate on whether video
games
have positive or negative effects on people
who play them. From my perspective, the drawbacks of those online games
have more influence on people
than what the advantages of them do.
To illustrate, individuals can easily become addicted to those kinds of games
because of the exciting scenes and the sophisticated settings of the games
. Human beings will be stuck in the games
once they played them and will be thirsty if they don't play them for a while
. What's more, involving in games
takes much time and leads to a reduction in the time people
spent to get along with
their friends and parents, which will make players' social activities deteriorate and will have an adverse effect on the relationships in their families, as the result, there might be more fight between them. There are also
many people
who spend a large amount of money on games
, and some of them go bankrupt eventually, as a result
, a great number of miserable incidents happen.
In contrast
, playing video games
can cultivate players' concentration on the things they do. Since playing those kinds of online stuff needs lots of attention and you have to be careful about every step you take. By doing so, the brain works at a high speed by clicking the keyboard.
In conclusion, although
there are still some good sides of
video Change preposition
to
games
, the negative effects they bring play a more significant role that can even damage a person personally and domestically. Limitations of time and budget should pose
on players in advance, in case something bad occurs.Wrong verb form
be placed
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task achievement
To strengthen your task response, ensure that you discuss both the benefits and drawbacks in more detail. Increase exploration of how the positive aspects may be seen in educational or developmental contexts, not only focusing on drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by logically linking ideas and arguments more strongly across paragraphs. Consider using more transitional phrases to help guide readers through your viewpoints and reasoning.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to bolster the arguments you make about addiction and social isolation. This will provide a clearer picture and deeper understanding of your points.
task achievement
The introduction successfully sets up the issue at hand, presenting a clear opinion and overview of what will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
You provided a well-structured conclusion that neatly summarizes your points and suggests a potential solution.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow within individual paragraphs is maintained well, allowing each paragraph to explore a separate point or idea.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.