IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Many
people
 suppose that a good method to bring individuals from a variety of nations or stages of life is
music
. I totally agree with
this
 opinion
due to
 the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with,
music
 is a universal form of art.
Music
 can be listened to by each and every person in
this
 world, regardless of age, social status, race, or gender.
This
 is because
music
 does not need the same language to be understood as long as it has a wonderful melody that can touch our hearts and resonate with our minds.
For instance
, Korean pop
music
 is currently well-known in every part of the world, engaging
people
 in different countries and cultures, and it can unite
people
 from different stages of age.
Moreover
,
music
 can evoke strong emotions in individuals of all ages and backgrounds.
For example
, songs composed about family bonds always make audiences feel related to and even touched. In recent decades,
people
 have used
music
 as a therapy for anyone who has to deal with various physical and emotional challenges. In fact, lots of patients have found healing and connection thanks to
this
 method.
As a result
, their health becomes better physically
as well as
 mentally.
To sum up
, even though there are
people
 who think that other factors might affect
this
 issue, I do agree with
this
 statement because there are no obstacles when it comes to
music
 which promotes mood and reduces stress.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are focused on developing that main point.
task achievement
Expand upon your examples by offering more depth and detail, which will both demonstrate wider knowledge and solidify your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas more smoothly and clearly.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: