Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many
people
suppose that a good method to bring individuals from a variety of nations or stages of life is
music
. I totally agree with
this
opinion
due to
the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
with,
music
is a universal form of art.
Music
can be listened to by each and every person in
this
world, regardless of age, social status, race, or gender.
This
is because
music
does not need the same language to be understood as long as it has a wonderful melody that can touch our hearts and resonate with our minds.
For instance
, Korean pop
music
is currently well-known in every part of the world, engaging
people
in different countries and cultures, and it can unite
people
from different stages of age.
Moreover
,
music
can evoke strong emotions in individuals of all ages and backgrounds.
For example
, songs composed about family bonds always make audiences feel related to and even touched. In recent decades,
people
have used
music
as a therapy for anyone who has to deal with various physical and emotional challenges. In fact, lots of patients have found healing and connection thanks to
this
method.
As a result
, their health becomes better physically
as well as
mentally.
To sum up
, even though there are
people
who think that other factors might affect
this
issue, I do agree with
this
statement because there are no obstacles when it comes to
music
which promotes mood and reduces stress.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all supporting sentences are focused on developing that main point.
task achievement
Expand upon your examples by offering more depth and detail, which will both demonstrate wider knowledge and solidify your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to connect ideas more smoothly and clearly.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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