Topic: It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?
NOWADAYS EDUCATION IS THE IMPORTANT ONE AMONG THE PEOPLE.
STUDENTS
WHO ARE CONTINUING THEIR HIGHER STUDIES
IN ORDER TO THEY
STAY OUT OF THEIR Correct pronoun usage
apply
HOME
INSTEAD
OF LIVE WITH THIER
FAMILY. I AM TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH Correct your spelling
THEIR
THIS
STATEMENT DUE TO PSYCOLOGICAL
ISSUES AND FINANCIAL IMPACT.
Correct your spelling
PSYCHOLOGICAL
FIRSTLY
,A LOT OF STUDENTS
COMPLETED THEIR PRIMARY STUDIES
AT
THEIR Change preposition
IN
HOME
TOWN. THEIR PARENTS OR FAMILY MEMBERS BROUGHT UP THEM PROPERLY. AFTER END-UP WITH PRIMARY STUDIES
THEY ENTROLL
INTO COLLEGE REGARDING THE HIGHER Correct your spelling
ENROL
STUDIES
. SO THEY NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM THR HOME
.IN THIS
CASE
THEY ARE AFFECTED BY HOMESICKNESS BY Add a comma
,CASE
MISSSING
THEIR FAMILY AND HOMETOWN ASWELL. IN Correct your spelling
MISSING
THIS
CASE
Add a comma
,CASE
PSYCOLOGICAL
Correct your spelling
PSYCHOLOGICAL
PROBLRM
Correct your spelling
PROBLEM
MAY BE
OCCURCorrect your spelling
MAYBE
THEM
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
FOR INSTANCE
, MANY STUDENTS
GIVEUP
THEIR Correct your spelling
GIVE UP
STUDIES
BACAUSE
OF MISSING THE Correct your spelling
BECAUSE
HOME
. THIS
RESULT IMPACT ON THEIR LIVES.
MOREOVER
, IN SOME COUNTIRES
PEOPLE Correct your spelling
COUNTRIES
STUGGLE
WITH Correct your spelling
STRUGGLE
FUND
IN DAILY LIFE. PARENTS ARE WILLING TO GIVE BETTER EDUCATION TO CHILDREN. BUT, IF Fix the agreement mistake
FUNDS
STUDENTS
STAY AWAY FROM THE HOME
IT IS DIFFICULT TO PAY MONEY FOR THE COST SUCH
AS HOSTEL, FOOD AND TRANPORT
. IN ORDER TO Correct your spelling
TRANSPORT
STUDENTS
HAVE TO WORK AFTER THE CLASSES FOR EARNING MONEY. THIS
RESULT LEADS THEM POOR
CONCENTRATION OF LEARNING. FOR AN EXAMPLE, SOME OF Change preposition
TO POOR
GIRLS
ARE TRY TO DO ILLEGAL WORKS. Add an article
THE GIRLS
THIS
MAY WORSEN THEIR LIFESTYLE. SO THAT IF THEY STAY THEIR HOME
THEY DEFINETELY
REACH THE GOAL AT CORRECT AGE.
TO CONCLUDE, STAYING AT Correct your spelling
DEFINITELY
THE
OWN Change the word
THEIR
HOME
RATHER THAN A HOSTEL IS AFFORDABLE FOR EACH STUDENT WHICH LEAD
THEM FORWARDED AND AIM Change the verb form
LEADS
Change preposition
FOR THE
THE
HEALTHY AND WEALTHY LIFESTYLE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.Correct article usage
A
Submitted by sasihary90 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite