Topic: It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#topic #college #students #home #parents

NOWADAYS EDUCATION IS THE IMPORTANT ONE AMONG THE PEOPLE.

STUDENTS

WHO ARE CONTINUING THEIR HIGHER

STUDIES

IN ORDER TO

THEY

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

STAY OUT OF THEIR

HOME

INSTEAD

OF LIVE WITH

THIER

Correct your spelling

THEIR

FAMILY. I AM TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH

THIS

STATEMENT DUE TO

PSYCOLOGICAL

Correct your spelling

PSYCHOLOGICAL

ISSUES AND FINANCIAL IMPACT.

FIRSTLY

,A LOT OF

STUDENTS

COMPLETED THEIR PRIMARY

STUDIES

Change preposition

show examples

THEIR

HOME

TOWN. THEIR PARENTS OR FAMILY MEMBERS BROUGHT UP THEM PROPERLY. AFTER END-UP WITH PRIMARY

STUDIES

THEY

ENTROLL

Correct your spelling

ENROL

INTO COLLEGE REGARDING THE HIGHER

STUDIES

. SO THEY NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM THR

HOME

.IN

THIS

CASE

Add a comma

,CASE

show examples

THEY ARE AFFECTED BY HOMESICKNESS BY

MISSSING

Correct your spelling

MISSING

THEIR FAMILY AND HOMETOWN ASWELL. IN

THIS

CASE

Add a comma

,CASE

show examples

PSYCOLOGICAL

Correct your spelling

PSYCHOLOGICAL

PROBLRM

Correct your spelling

PROBLEM

MAY BE

Correct your spelling

MAYBE

show examples

OCCUR

THEM

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

FOR INSTANCE

, MANY

STUDENTS

GIVEUP

Correct your spelling

GIVE UP

THEIR

STUDIES

BACAUSE

Correct your spelling

BECAUSE

OF MISSING THE

HOME

THIS

RESULT IMPACT ON THEIR LIVES.

MOREOVER

, IN SOME

COUNTIRES

Correct your spelling

COUNTRIES

PEOPLE

STUGGLE

Correct your spelling

STRUGGLE

WITH

FUND

Fix the agreement mistake

FUNDS

show examples

IN DAILY LIFE. PARENTS ARE WILLING TO GIVE BETTER EDUCATION TO CHILDREN. BUT, IF

STUDENTS

STAY AWAY FROM THE

HOME

IT IS DIFFICULT TO PAY MONEY FOR THE COST

SUCH

AS HOSTEL, FOOD AND

TRANPORT

Correct your spelling

TRANSPORT

. IN ORDER TO

STUDENTS

HAVE TO WORK AFTER THE CLASSES FOR EARNING MONEY.

THIS

RESULT LEADS THEM

POOR

Change preposition

TO POOR

show examples

CONCENTRATION OF LEARNING. FOR AN EXAMPLE, SOME OF

GIRLS

Add an article

THE GIRLS

show examples

ARE TRY TO DO ILLEGAL WORKS.

THIS

MAY WORSEN THEIR LIFESTYLE. SO THAT IF THEY STAY THEIR

HOME

THEY

DEFINETELY

Correct your spelling

DEFINITELY

REACH THE GOAL AT CORRECT AGE. TO CONCLUDE, STAYING AT

THE

Change the word

THEIR

show examples

OWN

HOME

RATHER THAN A HOSTEL IS AFFORDABLE FOR EACH STUDENT WHICH

LEAD

Change the verb form

LEADS

show examples

THEM FORWARDED AND AIM

Change preposition

FOR THE

show examples

THE

Correct article usage

show examples

HEALTHY AND WEALTHY LIFESTYLE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Submitted by sasihary90 on Tue Nov 09 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Download Free PDF
11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who knew you when you were at school. Write a letter to one of your old teachers asking for a reference. In your letter: say what job you have applied for explain why you want this job suggest what information the teacher should include
How are you? I hope everything is fine at the school and that you have been well. I still remember the dynamic way in which you taught grammar to me and all of the teacher trainees in your English class. Thanks again for those important lessons.
8
band
write a letter to your manager ask for some time off to complete a qualification
Hope this letter finds you well. I am writing this letter to ask you for one week time off from work.
<4
band
Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their chuldren’s Study. On the contrary , those online games have produced a lot of negative effect on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion
A number of parents believe that computer games do not bring benefits to their children's study. Moreover, it may have negative consequences to their mental and physic health. I fully agree with this statement due to online games make children lazier and more aggressive.
4.5
band
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is society has to care for more and more elderly people.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is society has to care for more and more elderly people. In my opinion I think that society will be able to cope with the increase of elderly people. One of the main aspects is that society need to pay attention to old people. To tackle this problem people should cooperate together. This maybe the easiest and so the best way to help elderly people.
5
band
Topic: robots and artificial are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why this is happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?
In era of information technology, all human have been reached the high level in development and taking measure into human's life from industrial technology until nowadays. Robots and artificial intelligence are examples for results as achievements but besides, there is still some issues that scientists can unexpected.

Topic: It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

write a letter to your manager ask for some time off to complete a qualification

Many parents complain that computer games have no value to their chuldren’s Study. On the contrary , those online games have produced a lot of negative effect on their mental and physical development. What is your opinion

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is society has to care for more and more elderly people.

Topic: robots and artificial are being developed to replace humans in the work place. Why this is happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact on society?