Topic: It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

NOWADAYS EDUCATION IS THE IMPORTANT ONE AMONG THE PEOPLE.
STUDENTS
WHO ARE CONTINUING THEIR HIGHER
STUDIES
IN ORDER TO
THEY
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
STAY OUT OF THEIR
HOME
INSTEAD
OF LIVE WITH
THIER
Correct your spelling
THEIR
FAMILY. I AM TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH
THIS
STATEMENT DUE TO
PSYCOLOGICAL
Correct your spelling
PSYCHOLOGICAL
ISSUES AND FINANCIAL IMPACT.
FIRSTLY
,A LOT OF
STUDENTS
COMPLETED THEIR PRIMARY
STUDIES
AT
Change preposition
IN
show examples
THEIR
HOME
TOWN. THEIR PARENTS OR FAMILY MEMBERS BROUGHT UP THEM PROPERLY. AFTER END-UP WITH PRIMARY
STUDIES
THEY
ENTROLL
Correct your spelling
ENROL
INTO COLLEGE REGARDING THE HIGHER
STUDIES
. SO THEY NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM THR
HOME
.IN
THIS
CASE
Add a comma
,CASE
show examples
THEY ARE AFFECTED BY HOMESICKNESS BY
MISSSING
Correct your spelling
MISSING
THEIR FAMILY AND HOMETOWN ASWELL. IN
THIS
CASE
Add a comma
,CASE
show examples
PSYCOLOGICAL
Correct your spelling
PSYCHOLOGICAL
PROBLRM
Correct your spelling
PROBLEM
MAY BE
Correct your spelling
MAYBE
show examples
OCCUR
THEM
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
FOR INSTANCE
, MANY
STUDENTS
GIVEUP
Correct your spelling
GIVE UP
THEIR
STUDIES
BACAUSE
Correct your spelling
BECAUSE
OF MISSING THE
HOME
.
THIS
RESULT IMPACT ON THEIR LIVES.
MOREOVER
, IN SOME
COUNTIRES
Correct your spelling
COUNTRIES
PEOPLE
STUGGLE
Correct your spelling
STRUGGLE
WITH
FUND
Fix the agreement mistake
FUNDS
show examples
IN DAILY LIFE. PARENTS ARE WILLING TO GIVE BETTER EDUCATION TO CHILDREN. BUT, IF
STUDENTS
STAY AWAY FROM THE
HOME
IT IS DIFFICULT TO PAY MONEY FOR THE COST
SUCH
AS HOSTEL, FOOD AND
TRANPORT
Correct your spelling
TRANSPORT
. IN ORDER TO
STUDENTS
HAVE TO WORK AFTER THE CLASSES FOR EARNING MONEY.
THIS
RESULT LEADS THEM
POOR
Change preposition
TO POOR
show examples
CONCENTRATION OF LEARNING. FOR AN EXAMPLE, SOME OF
GIRLS
Add an article
THE GIRLS
show examples
ARE TRY TO DO ILLEGAL WORKS.
THIS
MAY WORSEN THEIR LIFESTYLE. SO THAT IF THEY STAY THEIR
HOME
THEY
DEFINETELY
Correct your spelling
DEFINITELY
REACH THE GOAL AT CORRECT AGE. TO CONCLUDE, STAYING AT
THE
Change the word
THEIR
show examples
OWN
HOME
RATHER THAN A HOSTEL IS AFFORDABLE FOR EACH STUDENT WHICH
LEAD
Change the verb form
LEADS
show examples
THEM FORWARDED AND AIM
Change preposition
FOR THE
show examples
THE
Correct article usage
A
show examples
HEALTHY AND WEALTHY LIFESTYLE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Submitted by sasihary90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: