It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are different points of view about the importance of learning more about local

history

against world

history

, I think that both of them are important. On the one hand, learning about local

history

is so important that parents and the education system must prepare the conditions that people from childhood start it. By teaching local

history

students

know about the human that had very big achievements for them and they made for them valuable heritages. Some of them sacrificed themselves for their compatriots in different fields

such

as science, social efforts, and even war. Knowing

history

could be a driver for going forward and help us to make a better life by learning from experience, and we could solve our problems cheaply.

On the other hand

, without considering the

history

of the other places in the world certainly, we lose the worthwhile knowledge and experience that help us to solve challenges with others. Information about cultures and customs is gained by studying

history

. Learning

history

students

could create constant effects on

students

' minds so they respect others. When

students

gain information about people from other countries, that had an important role in

our

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

current life by innovating or discovering something,

therefore

, they have motivations to be an important person in their lives. In conclusion, world

history

is as important as local

history

and knowledge about both of them is important and helps us to understand the others. When it starts from childhood, it will have a persistent effect during life.

Submitted by TUTOO on Tue Nov 09 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people think that public libraries are no longer necessary, while others believe that public libraries still perform useful functions.Discuss both views and give your opinion.