IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #support #aid #organizations #attention #celebrities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Persons have split on the effects which renowned figures bring to the global endowment institutions. Some of them reckon that the supporting of well-known individuals makes the questions more obvious, whereas others hold the view that their existences turn the situations less significant. In my opinion, it is the more vital aspect that celebrities draw attention to the
charity
Use synonyms
 problems. On one hand, famous people have considerably more influence than ordinary citizens, which they can make use of to make people more focused on the worldwide aid organizations.
For instance
Linking Words
, they often have numerous followers on social media, so it is possibly more effective for them to pose some videos and descriptions or even live streams to introduce the situations of the
charity
Use synonyms
 and to call on the donations. What’s more, renowned folk usually receive a range of invitations of advertisements and their fans are
also
Linking Words
 enthusiastic to see them on the screen.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can choose to represent some
charity
Use synonyms
 organizations to impact their admirers to raise money for the endowment career.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, devotees of the superstars pay too much attention to their idols themselves,
however
Linking Words
, ignore the situations of the international aid institutions. To illustrate, the followers may just carefully gaze at the faces of these famous stars and admire their good-looking appearances, forgetting to offer some help.
In addition
Linking Words
, celebrities may attract the attention of gossip, covering the problems of
charity
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that personages can and will help citizens think more about philanthropy and raise more fundings for it.
Although
Linking Words
 sometimes famous folk conceal the nature of the aid,
nevertheless
Linking Words
, in a long term they provide more positive effects than negative impacts.
Submitted by 908133411 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorse
  • international aid organizations
  • public awareness
  • amplify
  • advocacy
  • systemic change
  • oversimplification
  • trivialization
  • undermining
  • severity
  • misinformed advocacy
  • distorts
  • hamper
  • guided by experts
  • constructive
  • strategically
What to do next:
Look at other essays: