IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#museums #charge #admission #people
Charging with entrance
tickets
 in
museums
 has enjoyed increasing popularity in recent years. From my perspective, it has both positive and negative sides in equal measure. Payment for
tickets
 when tourists go to
museums
 can be deemed disadvantageous for some reasons. The most obvious drawback is that many
museums
 are not
enough
Add a missing verb
have enough
show examples
 budgets to survive for
long-term
Add an article
a long-term
show examples
 period. If
museums
are not belong
Change the verb form
do not belong
show examples
 to governments or international associations, they will not receive funding from policymakers as well as revenues from
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
 in order to pay for upgrade facilities or spend for
Add an article
a salary
the salary
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 of
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
.
This
 can lead to degradation of facilities or employees leaving
museums
 to look for other jobs bring more benefits. Another pitfall is that entrance passes of
gallery
Add an article
the gallery
show examples
 can lose a number of
visitors
, who have demand go to
building
Add an article
a building
the building
show examples
 to understand about historical sites or historical figures though they can not stand for
fee
Add an article
a fee
show examples
 of
tickets
.
Instead
 of
complimentary
Add an article
the complimentary
a complimentary
show examples
 entrance, it helps people of all walks of
like
Correct your spelling
life
show examples
 to get a chance to explore useful knowledge about
culture
Correct article usage
the culture
show examples
 and history of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. Despite these aforementioned disadvantages, some significant advantages of selling
tickets
 to
visitors
 in
museums
 do exist. The most prominent benefit is that
gallery
Correct article usage
the gallery
show examples
 will receive
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 amount of profit in order to upgrade facilities as well as improve better customer services with the aim is attract
visitors
. If
museums
 offer high product qualities and good services,
visitors
 are ready
stand
Add the particle
to stand
show examples
 for
this
 expenditure any at
costs
Fix the agreement mistake
cost
show examples
.
That is
 why famous artists contribute their products in celebrity galleries. Another compelling point is that sense of security to
museums
 at a certain cost.
This
 is because some
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
 or thief will take advantage
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
 opportunity to enter
in take
Correct your spelling
intake
show examples
 some items, which
Add a missing verb
are display
show examples
display
Wrong verb form
displayed
show examples
 in exhibits to show for
visitors
 admiring. To sum up, my firm conviction is
that is
 detrimental for its tight
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
budget and loss
visitors
Change preposition
of visitors
show examples
, but it can be a useful distance and safety for building very as well.
Submitted by haovtm14401 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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