IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #age
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The chart below illustrates the amount of
time
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 spent on various online activities among
people
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 of different
age
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 groups in their free
time
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. It is shown that the lowest percentage of
time
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 young
people
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 spend on making bookings and it is just 5%. In comparison, in the older
group
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 the percentage of
time
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 spent on
bookings
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booking
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 various events is the highest (29
percent
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per cent
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). The percentage of
time
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 spent on social networking is one of the lowest in
60
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the 60
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-70 years old
age
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group
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 (just 8% of
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time
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the time
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) while
18
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the 18
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-26
age
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group
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 spends the most
time
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 on it (24%). The Old
people
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 use just 6
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of their free
time
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 playing games according to the chart. At the same
time
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, playing games
occupies
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occupy
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 18% of the free
time
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 of the younger
people
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. Almost the equal amount of
time
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 spent on making purchases and accessing music or films in both younger and older groups and it is 12% and 14%, 21% and 17%, respectively.
Time
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 spent on researching on the Internet varies from 20% in
18
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the 18
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-26
age
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group
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 to 26% in
60
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the 60
show examples
-70
age
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group
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.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: