Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured
food
and drink
products
contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary
products
should be made more expensive to encourage
people
to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree? It is obviously true that many
people
are facing so many health problems
such
as diabetes or obesities which are because of eating high levels of sugar that includes in foods and drink
products
that made by manufacturing companies. In my opinion,
although
I agree that making sugary
products
more expensive to reduce
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
is a curial way, I do believe that enlightening them for the awareness of the harmful of using sugary
products
.
To begin
with, it is a great method of encouraging them to utilize less oversweet
products
by overpricing the
products
.
In other words
, it is making that not many
people
are able to buy those ones because of raising the prices.
For example
, there are so many confectioneries
such
as producing of sweets or chocolates,
however
, not all
people
are able to purchase those
food
items because these were overpriced
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with other countries.
This
results in controlling them over usage of confectionary
products
and to get wealth health.
However
,
this
is not only a way to control
people
from overusing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
food
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
is made of sugary and enlightening the public to be aware of how those
products
can be risky if they eat more than enough.
For instance
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are willing to eat whatever they love to eat like smoking even though those are very expensive.
Therefore
, the government should plan to enlighten the public to know the
dangerous
Replace the word
dangers
show examples
of eating sugary
products
and how many calories can be gained because of it and what are the bad consequences of eating sweet
food
.
This
way,
people
might acknowledge the risks. To conclude, despite I believe that sweet
products
should be overpriced to manage the
people
by eating
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, I think that enlightening to be conscious about the dangers of those items.
Submitted by sandarmyint740 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: