IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional culture are incompatible to what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#cultures #technology #culture
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that some traditional
customs
Use synonyms
 die out during the fast iterations of
technology
Use synonyms
. While some traditional
cultures
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a disparity with
technology
Use synonyms
, I think most of them will survive. Some loss of traditional
customs
Use synonyms
 happens when the
incompatition
Correct your spelling
competition
 to
technology
Use synonyms
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 huge.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
customs
Use synonyms
 usually
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 poor
Use synonyms
technology
Replace the word
technical
show examples
 support, which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them
outdate
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
 as the time period
changing
Change the form of the verb
changes
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, due to the small
benefits
Add a comma
,benefits
show examples
 some traditional
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 can provide, it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 not necessary for people to keep these
cultures
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the culture may only entertain people with dance or singing,
instead
Linking Words
 of true development of society or country which
technology
Use synonyms
 does.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
technology
Use synonyms
 updates itself with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
great efficiency, but the traditional
customs
Use synonyms
 stay behind, which make it a disparity between these
cultures
Use synonyms
 and the
technology
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there are
cultures
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 can
exsit
Correct your spelling
exist
exit
 as the rapid change of
technology
Use synonyms
 happens. Some traditional
cultures
Use synonyms
 keep a distance from new
technology
Use synonyms
 and are usually not deeply influenced by it.
For example
Linking Words
, the traditional costumes have little relationship with
technology
Use synonyms
 and they are only associated with the style and dressing condition.
Besides
Linking Words
, there are traditions
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
 historical
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
, which shows that they keep a balance with the techniques switch.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we can try to protect the
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
 traditions and
cultures
Use synonyms
 from being lost by education or government support. In conclusion, while some traditional
cultures
Use synonyms
 will be
hided
Correct your spelling
hidden
show examples
 as new
technology
Use synonyms
 appears, most of them will keep their value and
exsit
Correct your spelling
exit
exist
.
Submitted by nanfangwuyu21 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: