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Band 5.5

Many people think cheaper air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be more expansive in order to discourage people to have it. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #air #travel
With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advanced
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
people
 have easier
transportation
opportunuties
Correct your spelling
opportunities
. The more
people
 start to
use
air
travel
 the more discounts seem to be made.
Air
travel
 provides
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
show examples
 benefits for everyone who wants to
travel
,
on the other hand
, it poses
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
 threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment. To prevent
this
 some
people
 are of the opinion that
air
travel
 should discourage
people
 so that their facilities won't grow rapidly ,while some advocate the
opponent
Replace the word
opposing
show examples
 idea. I reckon that if we can
use
air
transportation
 appropriately we may alleviate its detrimental effects.
First
 and foremost, I agree with the argument that due to
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 available price more
people
 tend to utilize
air
travel
 and
this
 situation is a force to be reckoned with. Due to the shortage of money
people
 especially
living
Correct pronoun usage
those living
show examples
 in underdeveloped and developing countries , struggle to find
travel
 opportunities. If prices stay low
people
 can put aside
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
show examples
 amount of money and will have a chance to
use
 their
transportation
 budget in foreign countries.
This
 is problematic phenomenon does not only help
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
also
 enable
people
 who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
 far away from their hometowns or families
such
 as students. With a range of cheap
tickets
Add a comma
,tickets
show examples
 every
people
 can obtain access to visit new places or their countries.
On the other hand
, airports occupy so many areas and these areas are not empty fields. Due to the
constructing
Replace the word
construction
show examples
 of these facilities forestry fields are abused,
this
 situation
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
adversely
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
animals and plants.
For instance
, after the built of Istanbul Airport it showed up
this
 field was playing a vital role in
migration
Add an article
the migration
show examples
 of birds. We can see so many
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
 occasions like that so if we don't take crucial precautions we will cause more problems in the future. Another drawback of
air
travel
 is the energy it uses. Even though the new novelties, Majority of the
transportation
 vehicles are working with unrenewable energy
such
 as petrol.
Such
 energies do a great deal of harm to
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 since
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 wastes cant be
appeared
Wrong verb form
appear
show examples
 easily, when we
use
 these limited energies we put ourselves in a dire state and pose serious challenges in the long term. In light of the facts recounted above,
air
travel
 can be both advantageous and disadvantageous. it
enable
Change the verb form
enables
show examples
people
 to
travel
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 cheap prices, but
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
improving rapidly become a threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 nature. To alleviate its damage governments should choose unoccupied areas to build airports.
Submitted by meliike.bekcii on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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