IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Internet development has great impact on people’s life. Some people say social media do more harm to the youth. Other people sat they do the great to the youth, Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#internet #development #impact #people’s #life #people #media #harm #youth
In an ever-changing, increasingly complex world, more and more
people
 have been influenced by
media
. It is argued that social
media
 poses a threat to youngsters, while some
people
 disagree with
this
 opinion. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument and give my opinion in the following paragraphs simultaneously. Admittedly, to some extent, social
media
 can benefit the youth in terms of study and life. Owing to the fact that it provides a large platform for younger
people
 to access information and acquire skills quickly.
For instance
, WeChat, as a typical example, enables young
people
 to read passages from official accounts and have frequent chats with various
people
 from different backgrounds.
Thus
 they can broaden their horizons by obtaining useful sources in their academic study, and improve their communications skills at the same time.
Consequently
, social
media
 would largely enhance youngsters’ abilities in their daily life.
Nevertheless
, like other groups of
people
, I still believe that social
media
 is harmful to adolescents.
First
 and foremost, social
media
 might distract teenagers, which largely influences their physical health. As we know, teens lack self-control,
thus
 they may spend much time on these applications, disrupting their sleep
subsequently
.
Therefore
, it would greatly harm their health due to insufficient sleep. Alternatively, social
media
 might influence the mental development of the youth, because teenagers are more impressionable by exposing them to bullying and rumour spreading.
Hence
, they would lack independent thinking and critical thinking. In conclusion,
although
 social
media
 offers a quick way for teenagers to study, I solely agree that it will be detrimental to the development of the youth.
Submitted by Esther on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: