Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?
Traffic
congestion and environmental pollution are not isolated issues, but rather global concerns that affect us all, especially in large cities. While
some believe that increasing gasoline prices
will solve these problems, others argue that higher oil prices
are not the best solution. I staunchly disagree with increasing fuel
prices
and will discuss it in this
essay.
To begin
with, the increase in fuel
costs will not significantly reduce traffic
and transportation. For instance
, humankind will still consistently do what is urgently required, like going to school, hospital and shopping. Moreover
, fuel
inflation will negatively impact drivers' lives and public customers, so most of them can not tolerate the payment. Raising the fuel
price can lead to higher daily service and material prices
. For example
, in developing countries like Sudan and Egypt, people suffer from traffic
prices
; however
, they continue to have everyday life.
On the other hand
, the solution to the traffic
dilemma is to implement an online work service that will minimise the number of labourers going to work daily. Subsequently
, this
will reduce pollution. Moreover
, electric cars should be introduced, promising that the environment will recover. As in Japan, electric vehicles mainly replaced transportation in the last
few years.
In conclusion, to recapitulate the aforementioned reasons, raising the fuel
price would be better for the government to change the transportation mode to electric vehicles and for companies to adjust the employees’ office attendance regulations.Submitted by holamonem79 on
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task achievement
Your introduction succinctly outlines the subject and your stance, which is excellent. However, be clearer and more explicit about both your stance and the scope of the essay right from the start to enhance the 'complete response' criterion.
coherence cohesion
Better topic sentences for each body paragraph can make your essay easier to follow. Each paragraph should start with a sentence that clearly states the main idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Try to integrate more precise and varied examples to support your points effectively. You made some good points but more detailed and varied examples would strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay should also discuss alternative measures to address traffic and pollution issues as the question specifically asks for it. You did mention electric cars and online work services, but expand on these ideas for a more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The paragraph transitions can be smoother. Work on the flow from one paragraph to another for better cohesion.
task achievement
Your introduction establishes the topic clearly and your stance is stated, setting a clear direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your concluding paragraph effectively sums up the points made throughout the essay, which helps in maintaining cohesion.
task achievement
Examples like those from Japan, Sudan, and Egypt add relevance to the discussion and show a global perspective.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.