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Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people think that exercise is the key to health,while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important.Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #exercise #health #diet
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In the contemporary era, health is a basis for every activity,from individuals to society, to become more effective. Some social members believe that working out will lead to being healthy ,
on the other hand
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,there are others presuming that owning a well-rounded eating plan is more essential to our body . In my own opinion, I agree with the former and the latter as exercising and having a balanced diet can bring us unexpected advances in our body On the one hand , exercise plays a key role in improving human health . As long as citizens accomplish it , they are supposed to maintain a healthy lifestyle. It helps residents' bodies always be in good shape.
This
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 mechanism could be unlocked by doing sports and regular exercising .
For example
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, most athletes in favour of their routine practice usually have strong fit bodies which help them to greatly fulfil a task
On the other hand
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, having a certain useful diet is expected to constantly put one's health at a lower risk of several illnesses, exclusively cardiovascular diseases. Not only does a normal beneficial eating habit contain low fats and carbohydrates but it
also
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 consists of high fibres and proteins . These are indispensable substances for our cells.
To sum up
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, nowadays some dwellers have the idea that daily routine workouts have extreme advantages,
whereas
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 some others consider a healthy nutrition plan as a more significant criterion for our safety.
However
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, I believe that both of them are vital to our physical and mental well-being.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views and provides your opinion, however, make sure each idea is fully developed. For instance, you could expand more on the benefits of a balanced diet by adding specific examples or statistics.
clarity
Ensure that your ideas are clearly explained. In the third paragraph, the phrase "Not only does a normal beneficial eating habit contain low fats and carbohydrates..." could be clearer by rephrasing it to something like, "A healthy diet typically includes low levels of fats and carbohydrates, and is rich in fibers and proteins."
introduction
The introduction is well-structured and provides a clear overview of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Smooth flow of ideas between paragraphs. The essay is easy to follow and understand, which shows good coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your opinion is clearly stated and supported, contributing to a good logical structure in your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Metabolism
  • Chronic diseases
  • Immune system
  • Mental well-being
  • Nutrients
  • Malnutrition
  • Obesity
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Circulation
  • Nutrient distribution
  • Preventive health
  • Energy levels
  • Balanced diet
  • Essential nutrients
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