IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages.

#countries #phone #apps #development
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With
Industrialisation
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the Industrialisation
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 and
recent
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the recent
show examples
 development of IT solutions, there
have
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has
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 been
tremendous
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the tremendous
a tremendous
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 rise in digital platforms. Due to
the
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apply
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these recent
developments
Add a comma
,developments
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 many countries have commonly started paying using mobile
phone
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 apps.
Such
Linking Words
 development has created ease of doing
Use synonyms
bussiness
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business
. The advantages weighed are profoundly quite higher than the disadvantages. One major advantage of
this
Linking Words
advance
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advanced
show examples
 usage of mobile
Use synonyms
phone
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phones
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 is enhanced digital literacy amongst the users. At the same time, the
Use synonyms
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
as usual
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, as usual,
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 has become much
more
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apply
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easier and everything is at a
finger tip
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fingertip
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 away making
transations
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transactions
 and business grow faster.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, there is
finanical
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financial
 transparency through proper banking channels.
This
Linking Words
 has
reduce
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reduced
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depedency
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dependency
 on
redudant
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redundant
 systems making money move faster. The usage of mobile phones for paying has not only enabled access to
larger
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a larger
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 pool of services but has grown
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bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 for all ranging from small to large
enterprise
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enterprises
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. Most importantly, the digital
patforms
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platforms
platform
 has
also
Linking Words
 reduced corruption bringing in taxable
income
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 for the development of the country at large. While looking at the disadvantage, it will be difficult for the poor citizens to pay using phones who
lacks
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lack
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 bank
linakges
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linkages
 and those who do not have a formal source of
income
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. The drawback for
such
Linking Words
 people shall be less or no knowledge on digital literacy or access to
such
Linking Words
 high
technology driven
Add a hyphen
technology-driven
show examples
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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. In
turn
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,turn
show examples
this
Linking Words
 shall affect their
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bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 and may result
is
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in
show examples
 loss of
income
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.
However
Linking Words
, they can be provided support through ease of access to do
Use synonyms
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 and building their capacities to
such
Linking Words
 digital platforms. Another concern is
of
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apply
show examples
increased
cyber crimes
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cybercrimes
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. Lately with
advancement
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the advancement
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 in
usage
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the usage
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 of phones for payments, there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
upsurge
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an upsurge
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 in fraud or online theft.
This
Linking Words
 with an
advance
Replace the word
advanced
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 security gateway engine and capacity building can be addressed. On a
brigther
Correct your spelling
brighter
 side, the payments using
Use synonyms
phone
Add an article
the phone
a phone
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 in many countries have increased which have helped grow the countries
income
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. Taking back learnings from other
failure
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failures
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 or challenges the disadvantages could be rectified.
Submitted by jay.becl on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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