Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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The
use
of computers
, nowadays, is indispensable in human lives due to
many aspects such
as communications
, medicine, and transport systems depend on the breakthroughs in computer
technology. However
, some people
think that our dependence on computers
in those fields
has detrimental effects on human beings. I disagree with the statement because the positive impacts that computers
have in these fields
overshadow the negative.
First and foremost, computers
have numerous benefits in many aspects, especially in these fields
. In communications
, for instance
, computers
facilitate people
who want to communicate with other people
around the world using applications such
as WhatsApp, Instagram, and Twitter. All communications
around the world use
computers
as operator devices, Also
, computers
reduce the time-consuming in terms of helping the administration of railways so passengers no longer queue to buy tickets because today e-tickets are provided by railway administrators. Another field that also
gets advantages from computer
technology is medicine. The Doctors use
ultrasonography to detect a baby in a pregnant's stomach and watch it from the computer
screen. Moreover
, computers
help scientists to unravel a mystery the DNA.
On the other hand
, the negative impact resulting from computers
in the three fields
is inevitable. The most dangerous thing caused by computers
is no privacy. The private data registered to these fields
would be vulnerable to misuse by irresponsible people
. However
, this
case can be prevented by the government applying a strict rule in public privacy. Therefore
, data privacy in the future will be safe. Moreover
, in this
digital era, the application of artificial intelligence has a significant impact in terms of providing a convenient environment for internet surfing.
To sum up
, although
computer
technology provides numerous positive impacts for human beings ranging from the utility of communications
to medicine, the use
of computers
should be restricted and assisted by humans to combat a devastating situation.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction which outlines your main points.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of cohesive devices and discourse markers to structure the argument more effectively.
task achievement
Develop your arguments further with a more detailed explanation and provide more specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow the structure of topic sentence, explanation, example, and concluding/connection sentence for better clarity.
task achievement
Expand upon the counterarguments to your thesis, and ensure that there is a refutation for each, strengthening your position.
coherence cohesion
Include a well-developed conclusion that summarizes your main points and clearly restates your position in different words.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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