Today more people are overweight than ever before. What is your opinion are the primary causes of this? What measures can be taken to overcome this epidemic?
Obesity is now widely recognized as a remarkable problem.
This
condition is increasingly affecting people and it has been recognized as a risk factor for many severe pathologies. The diffusion of fast foods, their low costs and the sedentary life of many are among the main reasons for that and governments should start to look for concrete solutions.
The rising problem of overweight is the consequence of many bad habits. First of all, fast food
is usually considered an easy solution for a meal since it requires only a few minutes to be ready. For instance
, it is very common that working parents may not always have time to stop at grocery stores to buy healthy food
but they can easily find fast food
on the way home. Moreover
, junk food
is normally very cheap because of the low quality of the ingredients and it is good tasting, especially to
kids, since it has a high quantity of sugar and fat. Apart from that, another important reason is that many people have a sedentary life and spend most of their time at work, limiting outdoor activities and sports.
Clearly, now that the Change preposition
for
problems
have been recognized, governments should intervene to reduce the rate of weight-related problems
. One good option would be to invest more in local healthy food
producers reducing taxes on their products. This
would make them more competitive with big industries and would allow lower prices of their goods. In addition
, citizens should be properly informed on the several problems
related to unhealthy nutrition and overweight. For example
, instead
of supporting tv
commercials of sodas and candies, they should remark Correct your spelling
TV
the
importance of a balanced diet rich in vegetables and fruits.
Change preposition
on the
To sum up
, I believe that obesity is one of the biggest health-related problems
of the 21st century and that there are many reasons behind it, mainly economic. However
, governments have the important role of protecting their citizens and they should start to put aside profits coming from big corporations and support more
a healthier way of living.Correct quantifier usage
apply
Submitted by fabiomancino90 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a logical progression of ideas and arguments. However, there are some instances where the connection between ideas could be clearer.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively summarize the main points. The ideas are supported with relevant examples and explanations.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt, presenting clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples. Some ideas could be further developed to strengthen the response.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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