When new towns are planned,it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centres. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been claimed that while
palnning
Correct your spelling
planning
for a new residential area the main concern has to be establishing green public areas and leisure facilities rather than constructing new shopping
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
.s To me , I totally agree with the conception that shopping malls are far less important to be built up than parks and recreational
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
First
Linking Words
, what people mostly need these days is an environmentally friendly
premesis
Correct your spelling
premises
, with a reliable source of fresh air and oxygen , and
this
Linking Words
what
Add a missing verb
is what
show examples
trees and sky open green lands are providing, not the dull, box-like
cements
Change the wording
cement
types of cement
blocks of cement
show examples
blocks of trading
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
that block the sun and fresh air. A lush of trees in
an
Change the article
a
show examples
sky open area is absolutely a healthy place for our children to play not that crowded indoor and poorly ventilated electronic games lounge in
traiding
Correct your spelling
trading
training
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
Second
Linking Words
, it has been noticed recently that the average weight of population has increased to reach
critical
Add an article
the critical
a critical
show examples
unprecedented level and
this
Linking Words
phenomenon is assumingly a result of lack of
phyiscal
Correct your spelling
physical
excersise
Correct your spelling
exercise
and of the sedentary lifestyle noticed in most countries,
thus
Linking Words
the governments in concerned countries have to place legislations to boost the number of gym facilities in order to encourage more people to start working out to maintain a good physical and mental health which can not be secured by opining more shopping malls. To sum up, in the era of global warming , air pollution, and the rising of obesity as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
universal outbreak, I believe that all residential areas should have more public gardens and recreational lounges rather than opening extra shopping
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
Submitted by mkhmd68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: