There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of the mobile phone?

#phones #phone

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Nowadays, many

people

Use synonyms

use

Add an article

a smartphone

the smartphone

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smartphone

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smartphones

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apply

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worldwide. There are some issues which are social, medical and technical to utilize

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phone

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the phone

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. As for me, there are more benefits than drawbacks.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is evident that it can communicate

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people

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with people

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who stay in

far

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a far

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place. To illustrate, when the best friend

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goes

show examples

to stay in

other country

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another country

other countries

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, they can talk to use

the

Correct article usage

apply

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application

such

Linking Words

as Instagram, Facebook and line.

In addition

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, they are able to search on the internet immediately what food or medicine

have

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has

show examples

positive

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a positive

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effect on their body.

For example

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, when they have sickness, they are able to research what kind of disease they receive, and they realize what sort of pills should purchase.

Thus

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, they are possible to cure their bad condition without hospitalization.

Furthermore

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, thanks to technology development, they can do a lot of things whenever and wherever they want. Recently,

people

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tend to work in their

house

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houses

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using

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Add an article

the phone

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phone

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phones

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because of

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a pandemic

the pandemic

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pandemic

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pandemics

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This

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trend will be

new

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a new

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normal working method in the future.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, using

mobile

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a mobile

show examples

Use synonyms

phone

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phones

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has some negative aspects.

First

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of all, it can lead their poor eyesight.

This

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is because

this

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device always

expose

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exposes

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blue light which is bad for their eye. According to the research, individuals’ eyesight was worse than

before

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a before

the before

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released

Correct article usage

the released

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technological

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phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

Additionally

Linking Words

people

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might be less likely to do face-to-face communication.

For instance

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

used to communicate with their friends or colleges

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apply

show examples

online, when they meet directly, they might feel

hesitate

Replace the word

hesitant

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and less to talk. To sum up, I agree with

people

Use synonyms

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

mobile

Add an article

the mobile

a mobile

show examples

Use synonyms

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

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which has more positive

aspect

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aspects

show examples

than

negative

Correct pronoun usage

onesnegative

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. Because they can talk with

people

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who live

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apply

show examples

far from their area, deal with health problems and do their

favorite

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favourite

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activities and job.

Submitted by ryohei.o532 on Fri Nov 12 2021

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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There are social, medical and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of the mobile phone?

Your opinion

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems.

Some people say that adversiting is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this view?