Traffic and housing problems can be solved if moving big companies, factories and their employees out of cities. Agree or disagree?

This
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essay agrees that relocating large factories,
companies
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, and their workers out of urban areas can address
traffic
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congestion and housing scarcity.
This
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is because large
companies
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attract thousands of
employees
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who commute daily, which leads to
traffic
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, and moving them can reduce
traffic
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while
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making the
city
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more affordable for residents who must remain. Large
companies
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attract thousands of
employees
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who commute daily, and relocating them to suburban or rural areas would significantly reduce the number of vehicles entering
city
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centres. There is usually a rush hour where everyone is trying to get to work in the morning and return home at night. Sometimes these rush hours result in serious
traffic
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.
However
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, the Government moving these
companies
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to a less developed area will reduce the road users.
For instance
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, at my previous job in Nigeria, there was a standstill
traffic
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every morning because of the number of people trying to get to work. The company decided to move over 15 departments to a rural area. By the time the relocation was complete. There was no longer
traffic
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.
In addition
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, when
employees
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move to rural areas, pressure on urban housing decreases.
This
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relocation can lead to a reduced demand that can slow down rising rent and property prices. Cities become more affordable for residents who must remain.
For example
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, if a major technology firm moves its headquarters from a capital
city
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to a suburban area, many
employees
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are likely to relocate.
This
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reduces competition for housing in the
city
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. In conclusion, I agree that moving big factories,
companies
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, and their workers out of cities can address
traffic
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congestion because there will be a reduced number of people on the road,
also
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the demand for housing will drop, leading to more availability for people who remain in the cities.

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task
Make your plan clear. Start with your view in one line. Then add two or three real reasons. End with a short restate.
coherence
Break into clear parts. Each idea has its own paragraph. Use linking words to show order.
coherence
Use more exact and clear examples. The Nigeria story helps, but add more facts about how it cut traffic and rents.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Use short, simple sentences. Do not repeat the same idea and avoid hard words.
content
Clear stance and end.
content
Real life example from Nigeria.
concept
Easy to follow idea of traffic and rent as two points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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