Some people say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.

#people #age #work

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It is said that the time for

people

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to dedicate to work should be expanded due to the longer

life

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expectancy. From my own p

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perspective

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rospective,

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perspective

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I c

omplete

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completely

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gree

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agreeing

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with

this

Linking Words

opinion.

This

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essay will elaborate t

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on the

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discussion in detail. In our modern world, it goes without saying that technology and medicine have made a breakthrough. Thanks to

this

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development, the cognitive ability of each person is

also

Linking Words

significantly improved, which boosts the capability of dealing with w

ork

Correct article usage

the work

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of everyone in general.

For instance

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, in the past, it is proved that the performance of workers is less effective when they reach the

age

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range of 50 to 55.

However

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, nowadays, the working period can be prolonged because of living conditions.

People

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tend to keep the ability to think flexibly and efficiently when they pass the mentioned

age

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Therefore

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, raising the working period is a way to make full use of human resources.

In addition

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, the e

xtend

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extension

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of l

abouring

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the labouring

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age

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also

Linking Words

enables the elders to devote themselves to their career with the accumulated experience.

This

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is important as it makes a great contribution to the i

ncreasing

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increase

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of material and wealth of the society. Some may argue that the longer

life

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expectancy of

people

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should not be the reason for raising the working time as

this

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is the moment for

people

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to enjoy their lives.

Nonetheless

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, I would defend that carrying out a job is actually a way of enjoying or even entertaining. If an individual is fully conscious of solutions to the problems emerging in t

he d

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apply

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aily

life

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besides

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the time for family, he or she can absolutely dedicate to what-so-called passion. Continuing to devote makes one feel a sense of being helpful and live the rest of his or her

life

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meaningfully as they are not a burden for others.

This

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is how the elders keep their purpose and pleasure in living. In conclusion, the retirement

age

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people

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should be raised greatly because the benefits from

this

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decision are crucial for both the community and individuals themselves. In

this

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way, the old generation will find enjoyment regardless of t

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apply

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age

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Submitted by Andy on Fri Nov 12 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

350 words

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Some people say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

The development of tourism contributed to English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world?

You are preparing an event in the countryside. Write a letter to your friend and ask for help with the arrangements. What the event is. Why the event is being held? What arrangements have already been made? How your friend can help?

In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?