IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How could this be changed?

More young people are not willing to choose a teaching career. There are many reasons behind these aspects. I will try to explain it in terms of wealth, workload, and ethical considerations, and I will summarise all the points and provide a conclusion on how to change
this
Linking Words
 situation. Salary for a
teacher
Use synonyms
 post is decreasing each year. It is because the
teacher
Use synonyms
 post
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 not very demanding in the market previously. Many young
graduates
Use synonyms
 consider a high-paid job. They don't want to waste their time on jobs that are not well-paid. Some
graduates
Use synonyms
 have applied for a loan to study. They have to pay all the academic fees at the university.
Therefore
Linking Words
, more
graduates
Use synonyms
 are not considered for
teacher
Use synonyms
 posts
due to
Linking Words
 low-paid salaries. Another reason why
graduates
Use synonyms
 are not becoming
teachers
Use synonyms
 is the heavy workload. The
teacher
Use synonyms
 is responsible for marking, teaching and looking after many students in classes. They have to organise many activities for students. They are swamped even though it is the summer holiday. They have to go back to
school
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 to attend a meeting with other
teachers
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.
Graduates
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 are not willing to work in a job with a heavy workload environment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, not many students want to become
teachers
Use synonyms
. The
last
Linking Words
 reason would be ethical issues. Recent
graduates
Use synonyms
 are unsure how to teach ethics in schools. Young people tend to be
free
Correct word choice
freer
show examples
 in high
school
Use synonyms
 and university recently. They don't want family and
teachers
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 to control them to be good in
school
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, as they are
teachers
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. They tend not to be willing to abstain from their behaviour.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they don't want to be a
teacher
Use synonyms
. How to change
this
Linking Words
 situation? We must provide a training course for
teachers
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 before graduation. The training course aims to provide an ethical teaching approach.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
school
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 should increase salaries to attract more
graduates
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 to the teaching profession. And
finally
Linking Words
, schools would provide more job opportunities for various types of
teachers
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, thereby increasing market demand for
teachers
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.

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planning
Plan your answer: state the aim and then give three reasons and a fix. This helps you cover both parts of the task.
linking
Make links between ideas clear. Use words like first, next, and also to move from one point to the next.
content
Give more detail for each point. Give a small example or fact for each reason.
structure
Finish with a short closing line that restates the main idea and a hopeful note on change.
content
Clear plan to discuss reasons and fixes.
language
Simple word use makes the essay easier to read.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • perceived low salary
  • deterrent
  • heavy workload
  • expectations beyond regular working hours
  • societal esteem
  • technological skills
  • teacher training programs
  • financially rewarding
  • working conditions
  • class sizes
  • public appreciation programs
  • societal development
  • comprehensive training programs
  • classroom management strategies
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