IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should be spent on building modern buildings instead. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#repair #buildings #money
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It is a common trend among people to have a luxurious and furnished
house
Use synonyms
; Pouring money for its interior and exterior look. It is very costly to take care and refurbish the existing properties, Whilst rather than
this
Linking Words
 sum should be consumed on making latest living places. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 elucidation because it involves over cost and massive problems in terms of moving to the new site.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Why
Rephrase
apply
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I oppose
this
Linking Words
 statement that cash should be spent on brand new habitation.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
high
Correct article usage
the high
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 budget
needs
Wrong verb form
needed
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 for
this
Linking Words
 task. Since every person can not afford to purchase land and
then
Linking Words
 make an apartment.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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due to
Linking Words
huge
Correct article usage
the huge
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 enlargement in the
population
Add a comma
population,
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 the territory becomes less,
As a result
Linking Words
 buying
the
Correct article usage
a
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house
Use synonyms
's land in an urban area is hard like travelling to Mar. To cite an example,
According to
Linking Words
 my ,,
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 local media report more than 60% public
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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keener
Replace the word
keen
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 to renovate their houses.
In addition
Linking Words
, The other reason against
this
Linking Words
 notion is that money should be spent on new architecture,
This
Linking Words
 is because shifting to a new location brings many issues. Given that, people are used to the old area and if they are moving to a new place it affects their lives negatively to some extent like furniture shifting, adjustment to a new environment,
markets
Fix the agreement mistake
market
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 distance etc.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, It will upset their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 education because they will deal with the new school's syllabus. To illustrate, Me and my other siblings are happier in their native town rather than in a city.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Why
Rephrase
apply
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I support
this
Linking Words
 statement that renovation of the existing living flat is far better than building a fresh
house
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because it is too expensive and may cause many problems.
To given
Change preposition
Given
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this
Linking Words
 situation, it seems that
instead
Linking Words
 of paying huge amounts for a new
house
Use synonyms
, People should spend that money on starting businesses and for their
teens
Change noun form
teen's
teens'
show examples
 quality education.
Submitted by engrizazsaeed on

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coherence and cohesion
The essay contains relevant points but lacks a clear structure and coherence. The introduction and conclusion are weak, and the main points could be better supported with more specific examples.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents some relevant ideas, but the arguments lack development and clarity. The response could be more comprehensive and better supported with specific examples.
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