IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The death penalty is the best way to control and reduce serious crime. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The surge in criminal activities has invoked a need for severe measures to control the situation.
Although
Linking Words
 there are several punishments other than the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
, the prosecution of a criminal is an effective way to alleviate the crimes. The following paragraphs will highlight the reasons for the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 being an efficient method to control criminal activities in the country. By and large, a
death
Use synonyms
 sentence is considered the most severe
punishment
Use synonyms
 according to the law. While
this
Linking Words
 might bring resentment to the family of an offender,in the larger picture
such
Linking Words
 punishments aid the healthy development of society. Being a harsh resolution,
such
Linking Words
 decisions induce fear in the minds of potential
criminals
Use synonyms
 and reduce the likelihood of them committing a crime.
For example
Linking Words
, if murder is prosecuted with a
death
Use synonyms
 sentence, another hitman who was to kill somebody would be compelled to rethink.
Additionally
Linking Words
, steps like these act as positive reinforcement towards society by inducing optimism among the people.
For example
Linking Words
, if the person accused of an acid attack is punished with high severity,
this
Linking Words
 would enforce a feeling of sigh in the acid-attack survivor.
Besides
Linking Words
 the factors mentioned above, serial offenders have a lower tendency to improve as they lack emotional quotient. To
further
Linking Words
 explain the conjecture, these
criminals
Use synonyms
 do not empathize with people and
hence
Linking Words
 do not feel the pain of the victim.
Lastly
Linking Words
, if the high-intensity measures are implemented properly, the action will ensure that
criminals
Use synonyms
 are making an informed decision and are well aware of the consequences.
For instance
Linking Words
, if rapists are cognizant of the fact that the
punishment
Use synonyms
 for an offence
such
Linking Words
 as rape is
death
Use synonyms
, they might omit the crime and
hence
Linking Words
 life of an innocent woman would be at mercy. Based on the arguments presented above, the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 would be the most appropriate step towards controlling criminal activities as
this
Linking Words
 would not only ensure the
punishment
Use synonyms
 equivalent to the offence, in terms of severity but would
also
Linking Words
 pardon crimes which potential
criminals
Use synonyms
 were to commit in the future.
Hence
Linking Words
, the
death
Use synonyms
penalty
Use synonyms
 shall prove to be a holistic
punishment
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • deterrent effect
  • sense of justice
  • closure
  • wrongful execution
  • life imprisonment
  • moral and ethical considerations
  • rehabilitation
  • financial and resource implications
  • desensitize
  • socio-economic biases
  • racial biases
  • retribution
  • crime rate
  • judicial system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: