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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #money #society #scientists #teachers
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In contemporary times,
money
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 is a measure of success. It is a common belief that successful
people
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 are the ones who make a
lot
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 of
money
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, while there is an argument that
people
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 who contribute positively to
society
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 like teachers and scientists are most successful. In my opinion, both views have their own arguments and the following essay will clarify it. On one hand,
people
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 who can earn a
lot
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 of
money
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 are indeed successful
people
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 because being good at making
money
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also
Linking Words
 means they have knowledge or talent. Billionaires are successful because they generate huge incomes and can create the best conditions for themselves and their families.
For instance
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, they can have the best services, go shopping comfortably without worry and
also
Linking Words
 have the ability to help
society
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. So having a
lot
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 of
money
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 will successfully give
people
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 an abundant life with good things.
On the other hand
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,
people
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 who have a
lot
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 of dedication to
society
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 succeed because they can bring many achievements of spiritual value. Scientists and teachers who discover and impart knowledge to others. They succeed when they leave valuable lessons and treasures of knowledge to
people
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.
Besides
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, the contributors
also
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 bring irreplaceable spiritual values.
However
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, that doesn't mean they can make a
lot
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 of
money
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 because there are a
lot
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 of scientists who spend their whole life doing research but until they die their research is recognized and obviously they don't get paid. In conclusion, while it is understandable that
people
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 who contribute to
society
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 are really successful when leaving many achievements, I am advocating for those who earn a
lot
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 of
money
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 are the most successful because they can create a good life for themselves and their families.
Submitted by jakedth162 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
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