IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centres #people #time
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is very important to allot more land for
parks
Use synonyms
 and public
sports
Use synonyms
 clubs than malls during the setup of a new town or sector. It helps
people
Use synonyms
 to spend quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their family and friends every day. I fully agree with the statement.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elaborate on my perspective in detail. Every new town and sector should have more space for public
parks
Use synonyms
 and
sports
Use synonyms
 facilities because it enhances the social life of the residents of the area. Children get enough space to play games
such
Linking Words
 as cricket and football if municipalities have already allocated the areas to grounds.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 helps women and elderly
people
Use synonyms
 to do exercise and gossip in the evening at
parks
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, it improves the overall health of the masses by spending
time
Use synonyms
 in outdoor activities.
For example
Linking Words
, according to World Health Organisation, it has been seen that the residents who have facilities of
parks
Use synonyms
 and
sports
Use synonyms
 are more physically and mentally fit as compared to the
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have
such
Linking Words
 facilities. The Shopping centres are good to buy things or get some technological entertainment
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
 cinemas, Restaurants but these closed corner buildings do not let
people
Use synonyms
 go towards fitness.
Secondly
Linking Words
, these places are not free of charge, it takes to get their service which makes an economic burden on
people
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 public-funded
parks
Use synonyms
 let them spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 without any cost.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have to dress up to go to shopping centres to get some enjoyment which is difficult to do after hectic schedules of
people
Use synonyms
. So, in
this
Linking Words
 scenario, they love to go to
parks
Use synonyms
 in their trousers to feel the beauty of nature to reduce their stress level.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per the survey of The Hindu newspaper,
people
Use synonyms
 who indulge in some sort of
sports
Use synonyms
 has 50%less chance to get depression. In Conclusion, open areas like grounds and
parks
Use synonyms
 are much more beneficial and effective to spend
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
free
time
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 rather than going to shopping places. So, responsible authorities should always give more spaces to
parks
Use synonyms
 and
sports
Use synonyms
 clubs during the new construction of towns to enhance the overall fitness of
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sanghagsc on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: