IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In many countries today, there are many highly qualified graduates without employment. What factors may have caused this situation, and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

#countries #graduates #employment #factors #situation
As we all know, one of the main reasons that adolescents tend to continue their education in universities is their desire for having a great career in the future.
However
, nowadays in many countries, we are witnessing uncountable highly graduated young people who are unemployed.
This
 essay will examine the main cause of
this
 phenomenon in the following paragraphs
then
 indicate the writer’s solution in the end. On the one hand, it can be seen that there are numerous companies that need fresh employees, but do not see any of the candidates worthy enough. To illustrate, many corporations have a severe need to fill crucial positions in their team and at the same time want to fill them with experienced persons. In
this
 situation, managers are just looking for professional options to hire, so do not give any chance to beginners.
As a result
, young ones who graduated from colleges and universities have two choices, stay unemployed or go and start from a low-level job. Based on current data, the majority of them have chosen the
first
 option.
On the other hand
, what actions must be done as the initial steps for solving
this
 issue? As it may seem obvious, CEO and human resource managers should alter their points of view about hiring values.
For instance
, managers should involve other criteria like problem-solving and teamwork
instead
 of related experiences in the process of selecting people for their companies.
Moreover
, every one of us as members of society should get our interpretation about the labour market richer in favour of eradicating
this
 matter for good.
Hence
, collective understanding could be the best way for dealing with
this
 problem in a long time. All in all, many well-skilled students have various obstacles on the way to employment, approximately everywhere in the world. I believe it can be solved easily if people and governments cope together and diagnose our beliefs about success.
Submitted by bigblackbear1996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: