IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Nowadays more and more older people compete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution?

#people #jobs #reason
In recent times, experienced workers have to compete with younger workers for the same activity.
This
 essay will discuss the main cause of
this
 epidemic including overpopulation.
This
 article will
also
 discuss a solution that mitigates
this
 problem including extending the service category. The main cause of no difference in the task between older employees are younger employees are an enormous population. The governments are unable to offer jobs to cope with the ever-increasing number of
people
,
as a result
, more and more individuals are getting jobless day by day.
For instance
, due to the high availability of human resources , companies prefer to recruit youngsters as they are tech-savvy, whereas,old
people
 find it difficult to learn the rapidly changing modern technologies.
This
 will definitely lead to enhancing the rivalry between aged labourers and juniors despite the experienced they have gained throughout their careers.
This
 problem can be mitigated by extending the career category of aged persons who can merely do that kind of task.
For example
, the head of the department should take some initiatives to retain old employees as their skills are inevitable while making significant decisions, and, institutions should extend the post of senior managers, so that, they get more opportunities without completing with newly employed folks To conclude, it is a known fact that experienced professionals have to compete with new generation
people
 in order to survive in the workplace.
This
 essay discussed the main issue that lead to
this
 epidemic
such
 as the overflowing population.
This
 essay
also
 discussed a suitable approach to mitigate
this
 problem by providing more opportunities for over-aged
people
.
Submitted by susmivijayan51 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: