The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum

People

with knowledge of fine arts are very rare to find. There are many beliefs that

art

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

easy form and can be

horned

Correct your spelling

honed

show examples

by all. Whereas some believe

people

with artistic skills have

special

Add an article

a special

show examples

ability

Fix the agreement mistake

abilities

show examples

. In my opinion, those who polish and work towards building their expertise can be

truely

Correct your spelling

truly

recognised as having an

art

. Many argue that painting, poetry, music can be made by each and all. I completely extend support to

this

However

, without learning a form of

art

, it is nearly impossible to do exceptionally well unless the person is blessed with

special

Add an article

a special

show examples

ability

For instance

, there are certain musicians or film actors who

co-incidently

Correct your spelling

coincidentally

coincidently

started working in

ther

Correct your spelling

the

their

field and eventually learnt during their progress.

Thus

, they started low but with extra efforts they became a home name in their business. In contradiction to

this

, despite utmost willingness and zest to learn a form of

art

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

people

could not perform well.

This

is often widely due to

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of special

ability

to display

understanding

Add an article

an understanding

show examples

of the sector. There is a saying, artists are god gifted. Thereby, some even with tremendous efforts do not succeed in the

genree

Correct your spelling

genre

genres

Many a times

Correct the article-noun agreement

Many times

Many a time

show examples

they lack confidence and at the same time; music, sports, poetry, painting, are not given as

importance

Replace the word

important

show examples

as other education in the school. In my view,

this

is one of the drawbacks which leads to lack of

people

Correct your spelling

pursuing

show examples

persuing

Correct your spelling

pursuing

show examples

these areas as a main career and is mostly looked upon merely as a leisure activity. In conclusion,

Change the capitalization

show examples

would like to share my opinion that with general education, if

art

is given equal importance the sector can grow. I am

Correct your spelling

certain

show examples

ceratin

Correct your spelling

certain

show examples

that it can be learned by all with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

proper guidance and training which may or may not be totally dependent on special

ability

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity rates
health care system
physical education
instill
long term
raise awareness
healthier lifestyle choices
nutritional education
active transport
quality of instruction
facilities and equipment
diet control initiatives
community sports programs

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countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

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Some people believe that traveling is a valuable experience; others say it is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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