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Band 6

Some people think that mobile phones are harmful for children, while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #phones #children
People hold different views as to whether mobile
phones
 are detrimental to
children
 or not. In my opinion,
this
 depends very much on how the
phones
 are used as to whether they are harmful to
children
 or not. On the one hand, some people think
children
 can be harmed by using mobile
phones
 mainly because the games and apps found on mobile
phones
, which are mostly not educational, can easily become addictive.
This
 results in
children
’s healthy physical activities decreasing and spending less time on homework, both of which can have dire consequences in the long run.
Furthermore
, using mobile
phones
 exposes
children
 to the risk of social media platforms where criminals may harm
children
 by deceiving them.
on the other hand
,
Children
 can be protected by
parents
 with geographical location apps on mobile
phones
 and contact them immediately if necessary. Never before
parents
 could check the location of their child moment by moment.
In addition
, the ability to urgently call by
children
’s families can prevent awful damage to them.
Lastly
, using educational platforms in smartphones by
children
, which was created for them, can improve their education if used correctly.
Finally
, I believe that if
parents
 monitor how their
children
 use the smartphone using them can be beneficial for
children
. By blocking social media platforms and sites that are not suitable for
children
,
parents
 can keep their
children
 safe from the adverse effects of mobile
phones
.
Moreover
, limiting the time
children
 use smartphones by
parents
 means that do not disturb the education of
children
 and they should not become addicted to it. In conclusion, if
parents
 cannot have comprehensive control over the use of mobile
phones
 by
children
. Smartphonesphones can cause serious harm to
children
.
Submitted by mohabbat.asadollah on

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive screen time
  • health problems
  • eye strain
  • poor posture
  • disrupted sleep patterns
  • inappropriate content
  • addiction
  • reliance
  • impair
  • social skills
  • educational tools
  • digital literacy
  • mitigated
  • parental guidance
  • safeguards
  • responsible use
  • monitored
  • development
  • benefits
  • risks
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