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Writing Samples
Band 5

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort #education #lessons #school #curriculum
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Nowadays, there has been
rise
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a rise
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 in reports of
health
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 issues in younger generations. There is a raised concern that many of these are due to
growing
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the growing
a growing
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 number of overweight people. These
in
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apply
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result in affecting the countries
health
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 care system. I strongly believe that the major reason behind
this
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 is lack of physical activity in day to day life.
Also
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, to some
extent
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,extent
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 these are results of modernisation. One of the sole
reason
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reasons
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 behind
growth
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the growth
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 in
obessity
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obesity
 is that there has been
increasingly
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an increasingly
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 high dependency on technology in everything.
For instance
Linking Words
, no one walks to work or school or
for
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apply
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grocery shopping. Even for the smallest need
in
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in-home
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home
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a home
the home
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, there is now artificial intelligence which makes life easier but at the same time restricts body movement.
In addition
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 to
these
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,these
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 the eating habits and lifestyles are becoming more complex and unhealthy to meet with the
fast paced
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fast-paced
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 routine. In order to curb these challenges, there is an upsurge need to educate about the importance of exercise and fitness. I strongly believe that schools are the foundation pillar for building one's character.
Thus
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, imparting knowledge on increasing stamina and living a healthy life should be part of the school curriculum. To achieve
this
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, teaching institutions should focus more on sports along with other subjects. In my conclusion, to reduce the
health
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realted
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related
 risk due to weight gain and to put
lesser
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a lesser
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 strain on
health
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 care systems,
the
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apply
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education on
such
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 diseases and remediation measures should be taught at an early age. To end the
agrument
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argument
 with
best
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the best
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 of my assessment of the situation, more emphasis should be provided on physical lessons in schools.
Submitted by jay.becl on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
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