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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that young people who have committed serious crimes, such as robberies or violent attacks, should be punished in the same way as adult offenders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #crimes #robberies #attacks #adult #offenders
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The social questions raised by whether teenagers should be punished the same as adults when they commit severe crimes are subject to much debate. As far as their mental conditions and social stability, are concerned, I personally consider that
this
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 is not a beneficial choice,
although
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 juvenile delinquencies do harm their victims as much as
adult
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offenders
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 who commit the same crime.
First
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 and foremost, young people’s minds are not fully developed, resulting in easily being influenced by violent content in some media,
for instance
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, television shows, novels and so forth. To some extent, they are not mature enough to understand the consequences of their actions. The more suitable actions that need to be provided to these young criminals are community services to make them reflect on their actions, rather than just serious punishments.
In addition
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, spending time in
adult
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 prison is likely to make young
offenders
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 even more violent and dangerous. They intend to learn and understand the social and living rules of
adult
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 criminals in prison, which has a dramatically negative impact on their development even though they leave prison. Simultaneously, it undoubtedly does harm to social stability in the long run.
On the other hand
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, they actually threaten people’s safety and harm their victims as much as
adult
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offenders
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. Psychologically, punishing them in the same way as
adult
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 criminals makes other people feel safer.
However
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, I still argue that giving young people who have committed serious crimes is worthwhile, as there are various methods to help them to become law-abiding persons. In conclusion, punishing juvenile delinquencies as same as
adult
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offenders
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 has an adverse impact on both individuals and society, considering young people’s mature level of their mental conditions and social stability.
Submitted by yang-luo19 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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