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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Exploring the outer space should be considered as a part of every countries budgeting. What are the advantages or disadvantages of such a need?

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A group of
people
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 think that every country across the world has to separate their
space
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 budgets from others to explore
space
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.
This
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 essay discusses the main cons and pros that are a result of
this
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 development. On the one hand, exploring
space
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 has some drawbacks. When governments spend their budget on
space
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,
then
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 they will change the quality of inhabitants' lifestyles. In fact, investing a great deal of money in finding new facts about the universe increases
people
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's taxes and reduces the level of their lives inasmuch as authorities do not upgrade the cities' amenities.
In addition
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, the matters of
this
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 plan have the most influence on poor countries,
such
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 as African ones.
On the other hand
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, the benefits of
space
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 exploration are so varied.
Firstly
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, when all countries set the one goal that finding other residential plans,
then
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 the International relationship will be strong.
In other words
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, having one aim encourages them to have good interaction and collaborate with each other to achieve their goals that have some beneficial factors for humanity.
Secondly
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,
space
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 exploration needs an organization;
as a result
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, it requires a number of
people
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 who work.
For example
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, the job vacancies that can be provided are scientists whose field backgrounds are mathematics and physics, engineers who study Mechanical, chemicals, and so on.
Moreover
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, these places need some labourers to manage the building's utilities and so forth. To summarise, putting
people
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 under financial strain and losing their facilities will be finished;
However
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, the countries' boundary enhance and they can find new habitable planets and provide job opportunities.
To conclude
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, the demerit of
space
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 exploration cannot eclipse the good point.

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task achievement
Your essay clearly presents both sides of the argument, which is a good way to approach the topic. However, ensure that your ideas are developed more deeply with specific examples. For instance, when you mention 'poor countries,' you could elaborate on how specific countries are affected.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay with clear paragraphs, which is excellent. To improve coherence, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Using linking words and phrases can help.
content
Your introduction sets the stage well and outlines the discussion to follow. You present both the pros and cons effectively, which shows a balanced view.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • budgeting
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • advancements
  • technology
  • international collaboration
  • unity
  • resources
  • habitable
  • inspiration
  • educational motivation
  • STEM careers
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