IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many believe that the best way to ensure a happier society is to reduce the difference in income earnings between the rich and poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#society #difference #income #earnings
The importance of a happier society which was always a debatable topic has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial, while others oppose their notion. The substantial influence of
this
 difference in earnings has sparked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy over the potential impact lately. In my opinion, there should be
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 in
earnings
Correct article usage
the earnings
show examples
 of the rich and poor for a safer and happier society, and
this
 appears to be more rational.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate
my
Change preposition
on my
show examples
 views for favouring the positive impact. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the
first
 reason is that, it provides equality among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans by sharing available human and natural resources equally between the two groups. Another striking benefit is that,
this
 help in reducing the burden to the government because beneficial schemes, like free health care and education, food grains at
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
subsidiary rates and other programs, which are provided for the poor people can be scrapped, as
this
 costs lots of more to governing bodies. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that, exponential developmental growth of the nation can be achieved because money spending power of the individuals will increase, which earlier was a case scenario of the rich persons only. Interestingly, due to the availability of more money, human beings tend to buy and spend more. Which in turn boost the economy and more development and jobs can be created. It is pertinent to mention that crime and anti-social activities can be vastly reduced, which are integrated reasons due to poverty. To recapitulate, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a conclusion that the benefits of decreasing the difference in earnings between rich and poor are indeed too great to ignore.
Submitted by kranthi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: