Students should pay the full cost for their study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In recent years, many people have thought that
students
should pay the entire cost of their curricula,
because education at Remove the comma
apply
university
could positively impact students
more than society. Personally, I disagree with this
statement for several reasons which will be explained in this
essay.
It is vital to believe that the government should support students
with tuition fees. Indeed, it can help reduce the financially burdened
situation because there is a large amount of poor who cannot afford the huge money from the Replace the word
financial burden
university
. Hence
, these students
will entirely focus on studying without worrying about the exorbitant cost, so they can get a well-paid job, which will help people achieve their ambition of becoming wealthy. For instance
, in the USA, where all the fees of the process of learning from primary to university
would be paid fully by the authorities, this
policy has led to the appearance of many billionaires in the world.
This
development could make the graduated students
become the main and potential workforce in the future. Undoubtedly, youths, who are being paid the fees at the university
, tend to achieve higher degrees and many scholarships. Thus
, after that, they will come back and determine to work for the government, which will significantly boost the national economy. Take China as a prime example, where people spend most of their time contributing to their country, which makes China become
a rich and powerful nation.
In conclusion, the government investing money in Verb problem
apply
students
’ process of learning will bring several benefits for
the economy in the long-term period and Change preposition
to
also
contribute to successful careers in the future.Submitted by [email protected] on
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Vocabulary
Be cautious with repetitive phrases or slightly inaccurate word choices that might hinder the natural flow of your essay. Aim to diversify your vocabulary to keep the reader engaged.
Content Development
Continue to develop your argument with specific examples. The inclusion of examples from the USA and China strengthens your essay, but elaborating on these examples or adding more could provide even more depth to your arguments.
Grammar
Watch for minor grammatical errors and work on sentence structure for clarity and variety. This will further enhance the readability of your essay.
Structure
Your essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes your argument easy to follow.
Argument
You effectively address the topic and provide a balanced view by supporting your disagreement with reasoned arguments and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
The coherence of your essay is commendable; you logically link ideas and paragraphs, which aids in delivering a coherent argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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