Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays,

people

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have different views about whether melodies play a crucial role

for

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show examples

bringing

people

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of a variety of

cultures

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and

ages

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altogether. I think

although

Linking Words

music

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is an important

way

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for bringing

people

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who accustomed

another

Change preposition

to another

show examples

culture and who have different

ages

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from others together, it is still is not

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

necessary

Replace the word

necessity

show examples

. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that

music

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play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

an important role in every society,

therefore

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, authorities take place some international

music

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competitions

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like Eurovision and it is undeniable that many countries musicians can

be attend

Change the verb form

attend

show examples

these

competitions

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. More

importantly

Add a comma

,importantly

show examples

people

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who have different

ages

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and

cultures

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can be met in the same place in

this

Linking Words

way

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For example

Linking Words

, if

this

Linking Words

type of

music

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competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

is stopped and removed completely

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

people

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who are attending

this

Linking Words

type of

music

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competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

cannot take a chance for gathering other

people

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who have different

ages

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and

cultures

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Consequently

Linking Words

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

melodies are

Change the article

the

show examples

best

way

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for meeting and gathering different

people

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who are living

other

Change preposition

in other

show examples

countries and accustomed

other

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to other

show examples

cultures

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On the other hand

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, it is no secret that

people

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have different

music

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tastes in order that some young generations are reluctant to listen to old generation melodies.

This

Linking Words

means that some

people

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who have different

music

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tastes cannot meet and gather in the same place for

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

purposes

such

Linking Words

international

Change preposition

as international

show examples

music

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competitions

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For instance

Linking Words

, if one tries to gather

people

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for

this

Linking Words

purpose

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, probably

this

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person can face some problems because of different pleasures

such

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as some disrespectful situations,

this

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means, some youngsters can be done some disrespectful things to other

people

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who are aged and accustomed

different

Change preposition

to different

show examples

countries.

As a result

Linking Words

music

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is not the best

way

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for

this

Linking Words

purpose

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always,

thus

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, other great ways can be thought by

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and

people

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for

this

Linking Words

purpose

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. In conclusion, I think even

tough

Correct your spelling

though

show examples

music

Use synonyms

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

an essential role in

Correct your spelling

today's

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

world and can be useful for meeting

people

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in different

cultures

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and

ages

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, is still unimportant and other ways can

be find

Change the verb form

be found

show examples

for

this

Linking Words

purpose

Use synonyms

faridqahramanov7Mon Nov 15 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people choose to have their first child at an older age. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people argue that because the internet make it so easy for children to access facts, schools should not focus on teaching facts. instead they should focus on developing children's skills and potential, and their relationship with other people.

The movements of people from the villages to the cities for work has caused a lot of problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to your friend who lives in a different country about your plan to work overseas. In your letter explain: What jobs do you plan to do? Why do you want to work overseas? Ask for some information related to jobs, such as salary, working hours and so on