Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #music #cultures #ages

Nowadays,

people

have different views about whether melodies play a crucial role

for

Change preposition

show examples

bringing

people

of a variety of

cultures

and

ages

altogether. I think

although

music

is an important

way

for bringing

people

who accustomed

another

Change preposition

to another

show examples

culture and who have different

ages

from others together, it is still is not

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

necessary

Replace the word

necessity

show examples

. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that

music

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

an important role in every society,

therefore

, authorities take place some international

music

competitions

like Eurovision and it is undeniable that many countries musicians can

be attend

Change the verb form

attend

show examples

these

competitions

. More

importantly

Add a comma

,importantly

show examples

people

who have different

ages

and

cultures

can be met in the same place in

this

way

For example

, if

this

type of

music

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

is stopped and removed completely

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

people

who are attending

this

type of

music

competitions

Fix the agreement mistake

competition

show examples

cannot take a chance for gathering other

people

who have different

ages

and

cultures

Consequently

still

Add a comma

,still

show examples

melodies are

Change the article

the

show examples

best

way

for meeting and gathering different

people

who are living

other

Change preposition

in other

show examples

countries and accustomed

other

Change preposition

to other

show examples

cultures

On the other hand

, it is no secret that

people

have different

music

tastes in order that some young generations are reluctant to listen to old generation melodies.

This

means that some

people

who have different

music

tastes cannot meet and gather in the same place for

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

purposes

such

international

Change preposition

as international

show examples

music

competitions

For instance

, if one tries to gather

people

for

this

purpose

, probably

this

person can face some problems because of different pleasures

such

as some disrespectful situations,

this

means, some youngsters can be done some disrespectful things to other

people

who are aged and accustomed

different

Change preposition

to different

show examples

countries.

As a result

music

is not the best

way

for

this

purpose

always,

thus

, other great ways can be thought by

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and

people

for

this

purpose

. In conclusion, I think even

tough

Correct your spelling

though

show examples

music

play

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

an essential role in

Correct your spelling

today's

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

world and can be useful for meeting

people

in different

cultures

and

ages

, is still unimportant and other ways can

be find

Change the verb form

be found

show examples

for

this

purpose

Submitted by faridqahramanov7 on Mon Nov 15 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together? To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

why it is often for more and more people finding out about the history behind their house or buildings, what are the reasons, and how they find the resources?

It is generally accepted that exercise is good for children and teenagers. Therefore physical education and sports should be compulsory for all students in all schools. What do you think?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.