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Band 6.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages #disgree
It is thought that
music
 is a quality tool to gather
people
 in different both society and generation. I completely agree with
this
 opinion and think that
music
 can connect the cultures and ages gap.
This
 essay will
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
 outline supporting reasons with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prominent examples. 

First
 of all, I believe that
music
 can be a representative of culture since they have got an aura of each area through lyrics, rhythms and sounds .
For example
, the lyrics which
are mostly tell
Change the verb form
mostly tells
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 about everyday life and feeling. These can be presented to be one
of
Change preposition
apply
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storytelling medium since they can reflect the lifestyle
on
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of
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 each society.
Moreover
, the rhythms and sounds are presenting the heritage of theirs own as well. It is able to hear the
using
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use
show examples
 of
Add an article
the instrument
an instrument
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instrument
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instruments
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 in the
music
.
That is
 why we can inform that
music
 is the platform to make
people
understands
Change the verb form
understand
show examples
 each other from diverse backgrounds.
Secondly
, Sounds can give us a well-feeling when we listen to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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music
.
In other words
, they are tone and melody that can be
a
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the
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 main cause for our body to produce a hormone called "Endorphin".
Dr.
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Dr
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Leon Willkinson,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 scientist, told that Endorphin does help to release stress and pain which are lead to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 our brain
more
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apply
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happier. And, when we are happy it is easy and more
convenience
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convenient
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 are tend to be
open-minded
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the open-minded
an open-minded
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person
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people
show examples
 to build the new bounding with others. 

To conclude, I firmly support the statement that the perfect way to let
people
 from diverse cultures and ages
is
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are
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using
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to use
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music
 as
an
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apply
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intermediation.
Music
tell
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tells
show examples
 how
people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 shaped and
also
 bring
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
happiness to the group which are the right way to do an icebreaking.
Submitted by pakakoon.b on

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