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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages #disgree
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It is thought that
music
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 is a quality tool to gather
people
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 in different both society and generation. I completely agree with
this
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 opinion and think that
music
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 can connect the cultures and ages gap.
This
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 essay will
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
 outline supporting reasons with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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prominent examples. 

First
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 of all, I believe that
music
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 can be a representative of culture since they have got an aura of each area through lyrics, rhythms and sounds .
For example
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, the lyrics which
are mostly tell
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mostly tells
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 about everyday life and feeling. These can be presented to be one
of
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apply
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storytelling medium since they can reflect the lifestyle
on
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of
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 each society.
Moreover
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, the rhythms and sounds are presenting the heritage of theirs own as well. It is able to hear the
using
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use
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 of
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the instrument
an instrument
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instrument
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instruments
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 in the
music
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.
That is
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 why we can inform that
music
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 is the platform to make
people
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understands
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understand
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 each other from diverse backgrounds.
Secondly
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, Sounds can give us a well-feeling when we listen to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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music
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.
In other words
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, they are tone and melody that can be
a
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the
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 main cause for our body to produce a hormone called "Endorphin".
Dr.
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Dr
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Leon Willkinson,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 scientist, told that Endorphin does help to release stress and pain which are lead to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 our brain
more
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apply
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happier. And, when we are happy it is easy and more
convenience
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convenient
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 are tend to be
open-minded
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the open-minded
an open-minded
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person
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people
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 to build the new bounding with others. 

To conclude, I firmly support the statement that the perfect way to let
people
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 from diverse cultures and ages
is
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are
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using
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to use
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music
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 as
an
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apply
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intermediation.
Music
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tell
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tells
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 how
people
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 shaped and
also
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 bring
a
Remove the article
apply
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happiness to the group which are the right way to do an icebreaking.
Submitted by pakakoon.b on

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