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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that famous people can help international aid organizations to draw attention to important problems. Others believe that the celebrities can make the problems seem less important. Discuss both views and give your opinionIn the

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In today's world,
celebrities
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 and social media influencers play a pivotal role in helping international organizations address major
issues
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such
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 as poverty, refugee crises, and disaster recovery.
While
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 some believe that
celebrities
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 are the best choice to raise awareness about these pressing problems, others argue that their presence might overshadow the
issues
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 themselves.
This
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 essay supports the former perspective, as many individuals can be positively influenced by their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
 public figures, motivating them to contribute to solutions. There are numerous examples of famous individuals who have made significant contributions to raising awareness about critical
issues
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 and have garnered substantial financial and governmental support through their campaigns.
For instance
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, Bollywood actor Salman Khan runs an organization called Being Human, which has provided assistance to many in need across India.
This
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 illustrates that international and national organizations can effectively leverage the influence of
celebrities
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 to bring attention to important matters and help eradicate them.
Conversely
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, some critics argue that the promotion of well-known figures may divert attention from the actual problems at hand. The public's focus may shift solely to their
favorite
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favourite
show examples
celebrities
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.
In other words
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,
while
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 advertising campaigns led by actors or influencers can attract considerable fan support for various initiatives, the underlying
issues
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 may remain misunderstood.
Nonetheless
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, even if the public does not fully investigate the root causes, the involvement of
celebrities
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 can still enable organizations to tackle certain problems. In conclusion, despite some arguments against the use of
celebrities
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 to highlight global
issues
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 and attract the attention of both the government and the general public, I believe that these figures play a crucial role in problem resolution by helping to generate funding and garnering physical support.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning statistical data or more case studies can enhance your argument's credibility.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your main arguments are clearly delineated to enhance readability and make it easier for readers to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the key points of discussion, setting a good foundation for your essay.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both perspectives before stating your opinion, which is a commendable approach to this type of essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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