Some people say that prevent illnesses and diseases, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree and disagree?
Some
people
hold Use synonyms
opinion
that Add an article
the opinion
governments
should pay more attention to addressing environmental Use synonyms
problems
and housing issues to stop illnesses and Use synonyms
diseases
. I do not Use synonyms
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
this
idea, Linking Words
although
it can be useful in some aspects.
Linking Words
Governments
should pour money into Use synonyms
medical
Add an article
the medical
system
, Change the noun form
systems
such
as vaccines and medical check, which is Linking Words
benefical
to Correct your spelling
beneficial
people
’s health. Today technologies have developed rapidly and m many Use synonyms
diseases
can be checked in the early Use synonyms
in the early
stage, thereby recovering from complaints easily. Those Remove the redundancy
apply
people
who live in the technology world are more likely to check their body Use synonyms
problems
by Use synonyms
body
check. If they discover the illnesses early, they have opportunities to cure that. Apart from that, Add an article
a body
governments
spend money on vaccination keeping Use synonyms
public
far away from Correct article usage
the public
diseases
. Use synonyms
For example
, Covid-19 is spread all over the world and there is Linking Words
Correct your spelling
no
not
Correct your spelling
no
treatment
for that. The authority brought vaccines from medical companies and argue Add an article
a treatment
people
taking shots. Use synonyms
People
who get Use synonyms
vaccine
is Add an article
the vaccine
a vaccine
total
free and Replace the word
totally
that is
Linking Words
the
good way to control the virus.
Another method of Correct article usage
a
prevent
illnesses is that the Change the verb form
preventing
government
should improve Use synonyms
public’s
Correct article usage
the public’s
healthy
awareness. In a competitive society, most Replace the word
health
of
Change preposition
apply
Use synonyms
people
devote their time to working leading under strain. Those who have sub-health because they have to keep the same action for Add an article
the people
long
time, Add an article
a long
such
as sitting before computers. If Linking Words
people
do not care Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
situation, it will cause serious Change preposition
about this
problems
even death. The Use synonyms
government
should help Use synonyms
people
to raise Use synonyms
the
awareness by social media or establishing laws. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, the Linking Words
government
regulate employers which can not ask employees Use synonyms
work
over 40 hours per week so those policies can keep Fix the infinitive
to work
people
having awareness of Use synonyms
healthy
Replace the word
health
problems
and Use synonyms
people
are more likely to follow Use synonyms
the
good lifestyle.
Correct article usage
a
On the other hand
, Linking Words
people
can keep Use synonyms
diseases
away by reducing environmental Use synonyms
pollution
and housing issues because of avoiding Use synonyms
Add an article
the virus
virus
. With the Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
urbanalisation
and economic boost, there Correct your spelling
urbanisation
urbanization
are
an increasing number of private cars and residential Change the verb form
is
building
, which causes Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
pollution
, especially smoggy. Use synonyms
As a result
, the Linking Words
government
should keep watchful eye on reducing biological and housing Use synonyms
pollution
on private cars and develop eco-friendly cars and on building materials Use synonyms
which
are less damage to the environment.
In a conclusion, Correct pronoun usage
that
governments
should have various methods to deal with Use synonyms
diseases
and Use synonyms
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
pollution
and housing Use synonyms
problems
Use synonyms
just
only two ways among different policies.Change preposition
in just
Submitted by quteyuki1022 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.