IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

the internet will bring about a new freedom of information and so narrow the technology gap between developed and developing countries. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#internet #freedom #information #technology #gap #countries
Some
people
 feel that the arrival of the
web
 has decreased the differences between developed and developing nations. In
this
 essay, I will discuss whether I agree with
this
 statement.
Firstly
, I will explore how the
internet
 provides an environment to access data about everything.
Secondly
, I will explore some factors that can cause more improvement in developed nations in comparison to the others.
To begin
 with, the spread of the World Wide
Web
 caused better opportunities to get informed about anything. There are so many materials for
people
 who want to research, unlike a situation in past when individuals had limited conditions to be aware of something.
For example
, most
people
 in developing
countries
 can easily use the
internet
 to learn and research about any topic. At the same time, all resources on the
web
 are shared for everybody from both developing and developed
countries
.
For
this
 reason,
this
 new discovery will continue to bring freedom of information and support the declining technological gap between populations.
On the other hand
, conditions to access the
internet
 are not the same for citizens of both types of
countries
. It should be mentioned that there are some significant details which influence distinctions
such
 as
internet
 speed and programs and tools which are designated for a special group of
people
.
For instance
,
people
 in developed
countries
 can benefit from high speed,
while
 those in developing economies face some difficulties.
As a result
, increased accessibility of the
internet
 helps technological prosperity more for developed
countries
 rather than developing ones. In conclusion, the
web
 brings more equality among populations.
Consequently
, I believe that
further
 steps should be taken to increase its popularity.
Submitted by ferdakerim on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear, logical structure throughout. This includes having well-organized paragraphs with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion that encapsulate your main points and restate your thesis in varied wording. These elements are present, but further refinement could enhance the clarity and impact of your introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with evidence or examples. You have included examples, but additional support or elaboration could strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
Address the task directly and make sure that your response fully answers all parts of the question. Expand on your ideas to ensure that they are explored comprehensively.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and comprehensively. Ensure that each paragraph conveys a single, focused idea related to the overall argument.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to support your points. Your examples are relevant, but try to further illustrate your points with more detailed evidence or data.
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