Some education systems make students focus on certain subjects at the age of 15, while others require students to study a wide range of subjects until they leave school. What are the benefits of each system? Which do you think is a better educational system?

For the time being, learning curriculum for
students
, especially for teenagers has never failed to provoke controversial debates among people. While some claim that they should focus on
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain
subjects
, others believe
that insights
Change the determiner
that insight
those insights
show examples
of
Change preposition
into
show examples
various
subjects
are of importance for them. I would contend that both perspectives have their own perks but the former is an optimal way for learners to absorb knowledge properly. Without a shadow of a doubt, a comprehensive pool of insights about the surroundings
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
tremendous benefits for teenagers in shaping their personal base of maturing. 15-year-old
students
still have inadequate cognitive development as well as experience instability in the psychological system. A wide range of
subjects
ranging from compulsory
schedule
Change the noun form
schedules
show examples
such
as Math or Language to even the moral lessons, soft skill courses assist them to turn into a beneficial mature person. These
subjects
not only provide them with necessary horizons but
also
build the imperative sets of skills to handle their own issues and prepare for the maturing process.
Although
some redeeming features of learning different
subjects
are widely acknowledged, it is more vital for them to highly concentrate on some aspects they are interested in. Because 15 years old is the phase of orienting the career ladder,
students
spending time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exploring their suitable jobs can become more outstanding than others not doing some research about landing jobs.
For instance
, crash courses to get some certificates
such
as IELTS, ACCA, CFA play a vital role for
students
dedicated to
pursue
Change the verb form
pursuing
show examples
the financial fields to make them more attractive with headhunters.
Thus
, forming the mindset of desiring aspects and taking a keen consideration into job-related
subjects
help
students
alleviate the outside disturbances and contribute much to their career path. To sum up, digesting a variety of
subjects
is always crucial for learners at different age groups, 15-year-old
students
should be devoted to
subjects
they prefer with a view to being ready for turning into a
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
participant in an intensive
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: