Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money

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It is a well-known fact that famous

people

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, like singers and movie stars, are paid a good fortune. Some say they are significantly overpaid. But in my perspective, I totally disagree with

this

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opinion, for the following reasons. First of all, most celebrities have put great effort into their careers before they get famous. They need to spend tens of thousands of hours acting, singing,

physical

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and physical

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training to become who they are.

For example

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, Olympic gold medal winners usually start training when they are very young and spend more than ten years

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show examples

the same sports before beating 99 per cent of their competitors and winning the honour.

And a

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professional guitarist has to spend most of his days practising the chords and finger replacements. These

people

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deserve good pay for their hard work.

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, celebrities can bring significant value to companies and the entire society.

For instance

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, the endorsement of a sports star can get a sports drink company thousands of millions of dollars

extra

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in extra

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revenue. And many young

people

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will start purchasing just because they see their idols appear on a TV commercial.

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, after disasters like the 3-11 earthquake in Japan, singers and actors used their influence to start fundraising campaigns and collected millions of dollars to help the disaster-affected

people

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. These

people

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need to be paid what they are worth. In conclusion, I believe celebrities are not being overpaid. They are just hard-working

people

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who create considerable value for society. And

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kind of

people

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deserves high pay.

Submitted by lvwei1001 on Tue Nov 16 2021

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Style

Consider using more varied sentence structures and advanced vocabulary to enhance your argument.

Content Organization

While the essay is well-organized, ensure each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that directly supports the thesis statement.

Task Achievement

The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear perspective and logical arguments that support the viewpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the argument, offering a consistent stance throughout the essay.

Supporting Points

Main points are well-supported with relevant examples and explanations, enhancing the persuasiveness of the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lucrative
revenue
sponsorships
merchandise
career longevity
market demand
economic contribution
role models
influence
entertainment industry

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Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money

Fully explain your ideas

It is sometimes suggested that primary school children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. What are the advantages and disadvantages? Do you think advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

Some people prefer to travel around town by car, while others prefer public transit such as bus, train, or subway. Discuss both these positions and give your own opinion.

Some think dangerous extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Millions of people every year move to English-speaking countries such as Australia, Britain or America, in order to study at school, college or university. Why do so many people want to study in English? Why is English such an important international language? Give reasons for your answer.