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Band 4

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
In order to support the local, it is
beleived
Correct your spelling
believed
 that the youth should take responsibility and
work
 as
a
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apply
show examples
volunteer
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
,
this
 can be beneficial for both the young generation and the society .In my opinion,I completely agree with
this
 thought and I would say that
volunteer
 jobs can play an important role
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 personal growth and development.
Initially
,personal responsibility is the main
porpuse
Correct your spelling
purpose
shuld
Correct your spelling
should
shall
 be
concidered
Correct your spelling
considered
 to teach the youngsters.
This
 means,by working as a
volunteer
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
somewhere gives you an opportunity to build your response .Take British parents ,
for example
,many of them support their children to participate in some
workplace
Replace the word
work
show examples
 as a
volunteer
 in order to gain opportunities.As a consequence,skills and abilities would commence in early time. Their future,
in addition
,would be selected if they went in
such
 a
work
 as a
volunteer
.
In other words
,those who
work
 as a
volunteer
 would highly likely learn about some sort of job which leads them to choose their job properly.
For instance
,a recent study says that selecting a job from an early age makes them more successful in their
work
 life.
As a result
 of
this
 many children would be more consciousness what they want to them in their future. To sum up,there are many
advantag
Correct your spelling
advantages
advantage
Submitted by cmnr3134 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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