There are many advertisement directed at children. Parents argue that children are mislead, while advertisers consider advertising a source of useful information. What is your opinion?

#advertisement #children #parents #mislead #advertisers #source #information

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Nowadays,

advertisements

have been increasing as well as the development of technology.

Moreover

, most of the

advertisements

are aimed at

children

because the company believe that

children

are the country developers.

However

, parents think that it is not appropriate. In my point of view, I do agree with the idea of giving useful information to the younger generation through

advertisements

This

further

essay will discuss the benefits of the promotions.

In addition

, there were some persons who think that the best way to inform the younger generation is that promote on social media.

For instance

, television and online platforms. These days online platforms are developed,

also

these can give humans many instructions .

Such

as news, advice, and medical care.

Besides

, many companies aim to inform useful information for younger individuals. Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

younger individuals are currently

prefer

Add the particle

toprefer

show examples

discover things on social media more than read books like in the past.

On the other hand

, there were some people who believe that online platforms

are mislead

Change the verb form

are misled

are misleading

show examples

younger persons. They consider that

children

should not use the internet and should not watch television

advertisements

. These parents prefer their

children

to play like other persons.

For example

, going outside and playing at the playground with friends. They do not trust the internet advice and do not their child addicted to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media. In conclusion, the benefits of the promotion are that

children

can access the news quickly and can learn by watching television. In my opinion, boys and girls should be allowed access the useful information by watching

advertisements

Submitted by p.unchernsatit on Wed Nov 17 2021

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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There are many advertisement directed at children. Parents argue that children are mislead, while advertisers consider advertising a source of useful information. What is your opinion?

Everyone of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered and some are even facing extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What can be done to deal with this problem

Some people say that parents should spend time on reading or telling stories to children, while others think parents no longer have to do this because there are other sources for stories such as books, TV, and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In some countries, prison is seen as the solution to crime. However, some people believe that giving people a better education is a better way to prevent them from committing crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these ideas? Give your opinions based on your knowledge and expeiences.