Some people think that zoos are cruel and have no place in the modern world. Others feel that zoos still serve a useful purpose. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Zoos
can be quite controversial among animal lovers.
While
some people believe that
zoos
provide a benefit in some ways, I side with those who feel that
zoos
are inhumane, and should be shut down. On the one hand, it could be argued that there are some pros of having
zoos
.
Firstly
,
zoos
could provide a suitable living ecosystem for
animals
, especially endangered
animals
. Take Sumatran elephants
for example
, which are often poached for their ivory tusks; they might probably benefit from a protected environment that protects them from illegal hunters.
Apart from
this
, the
animals
could probably have better health
due to
the availability of veterinary care.
Thus
, these two factors might be able to help them to extend their life expectancy.
On the other hand
, I agree with those who think that
zoos
should be closed for their cruelty.
Firstly
, by being captive inside
zoos
,
animals
can feel extremely uncomfortable living in a cage, where the cage’s size is relatively smaller compared with their natural habitat.
For instance
, whale sharks,
although
they have immense size, are often seen being confined in relatively small pools, which
consequently
limits their physical movement and even worse damages their body. Keeping them in captivity likely creates a detrimental effect on their mental well-being, and it is
also
categorised as immoral.
Furthermore
,
zoos
are created just for business purposes, where the
animals
are often forced to perform a show –
such
as a circus show – to entertain the visitors, causing the
animals
not to have adequate rest and leading to health issues.
This
situation happens because the zoo's owners and the management are irresponsible, merely focusing on gaining as much money as possible without considering the negative impacts on the
animals
. In conclusion,
while
zoos
could protect
animals
from external threats and serve educational content, these reasons cannot justify their operation simply because holding
animals
in confinement has questionable ethics.
Therefore
, I remain firmly convinced that commercial
zoos
are no longer permitted to operate.
Submitted by karelrenaldi8 on

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task response
Your task response is quite strong and well-developed. Ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed equally; you might want to elaborate slightly more on the viewpoint supporting zoos.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally coherent and easy to follow. Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. For example, use more transitional phrases to link ideas between and within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
task response
Your main points are well-supported with relevant specific examples, making your arguments more persuasive.
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