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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money then people in other important professions. Some people think it is fully justified while others think it is unfair.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions
It is true that
sports
 stars are paid huge
salaries
 in c
omparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
with other professionals. While some
people
 may argue that it is unfair, I believe that these top players are deserved to be well paid. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
people
 think the
salaries
 for
sports
 stars are too high.
Firstly
, they suppose that sport is just a kind of entertainment
people
 use to relax. In fact,
people
 could all live happily without playing or watching
sports
such
 as football, tennis or basketball.
Secondly
, there are many other vital professions that serve d
aily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
demands of
people
.
For example
, it is difficult for
people
 to face illness and serious disease so they need doctors to cure them and make them feel better.
Finally
, the huge
salaries
 that famous
sports
 players earn i
ncrease
Add the particle
to increase
show examples
the gap between rich and poor that may cause some negative effects t
o
Change preposition
on
show examples
society.
On the other hand
, I believe that successful
sports
 professionals deserve to have high incomes. The main reason is that
people
 who want to be a top player in any sport must be truly talented. They have special abilities and skills that no one else can copy.
For instance
, Roger Federer, who is supposed to be the greatest tennis player of all time, is well-known with incredible backhand skill by one hand, which i
nspiring
Wrong verb form
inspires
show examples
millions of fans all over the world.
In addition
, in spite of being talented,
sports
 stars still have to spend a considerable number of hours on training to develop their skills and fitness.
Therefore
, they deserve to earn high
salaries
 that reflect their effort. In conclusion, I would argue that it is justified to pay successful s
pcorts
Correct your spelling
sports
players more money than other professionals.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
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