IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #cost #fuel
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Nowadays, the upward trend of
fuel
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 consumption is one of the main reasons for environmental degradation. Some individuals believe that the price of
fuel
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 should be increased to tackle
this
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 problem.
Although
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 I agree with
this
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 opinion, I think that the increasing rate of
fuel
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cost
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 would
also
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 have negative effects on society. On the one hand, raising the price of
fuel
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 will be far beneficial. According to
this
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, many
people
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 would avoid driving their own cars since they will not be able to afford the high
cost
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 of
fuel
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.
Besides
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, they will be motivated to take more public
transportation
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instead
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 of their private cars, resulting in decreasing the heavy traffics.
Therefore
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, the lower consumption of
fuel
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 will improve the quality of air, reducing many health problems.
For instance
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, many
people
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 have died annually
as a result
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 of lung cancer and respiratory diseases that are caused by air pollution.
on the other hand
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, increasing the
fuel
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cost
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 would have many drawbacks.
Firstly
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, the public
transportation
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cost
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 will be escalated due to the expensive
fuel
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.
Secondly
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, the
transportation
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 expenses for businesses would
also
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 be raised. In
such
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 cases, companies will be forced to increase the prices of their products to compensate for these high expenses.
Thus
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,
people
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 would be burdened with higher living costs. If the government can control these increasing rates of
transportation
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 and goods, the solution of high
fuel
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 prices would be more advantaged. In conclusion, while increasing the
fuel
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cost
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 could place many
people
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 under the pressure of difficult economic situations, I agree that it is vital for solving environmental problems.
Submitted by mahsa.mirzayi69 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
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