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Band 5

Some people think that urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing. Discudd both sides views and give your opinion

#people #spaces #parks #discudd
As with the gradual growth in
developement
Correct your spelling
development
 in every nation , numbers in
population
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the population
show examples
 is
also
 increasing.
Therefore
 , looking at
this
 issue , many natives
believes
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believe
show examples
 that the open spaces in the
city
 should
utilised
Change the verb form
be utilised
show examples
 for housing.
Where
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Whereas
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as
Change preposition
apply
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others
suggets
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suggests
suggest
to make
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making
show examples
 new
parks
 rather than making new homes. Both statements have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 own benefits. The facts of the thesis will be discussed in
below
Correct article usage
the below
show examples
 paragraphs along with my own opinion. In many developing and developed countries , major cities are getting over-crowded and the primary reason behind
this
 is the increasing numbers in
population
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the population
show examples
. To
ressolve
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resolve
this
 issue ,
government
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the government
show examples
 should utilise the open areas for housing. Where new houses will be made to adjust
over population
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overpopulation
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. As living in the
city
 area is already very
conjusted
Correct your spelling
congested
conjured
 and it's becoming impossible for new families to settle up , who shifting from countryside areas.
Therefore
 , the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 more houses is rapidly increasing. Making new colonies for them can be helpful to
fullfill
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fulfil
this
 demand. Concerning
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the benefits of another statement ,
parks
 are necessary
in
Change the preposition
for
show examples
 every town because
parks
 are helpful to increase greenery. As a lot of trees would be planted in each park which can
led
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lead
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 to
reduce
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reducing
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 the pollution as well as having more
parks
 , overall infrastructure of the
city
 could be developed.
Hence
 , open spaces in
urban
Add an article
an urban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 should be used to make new
parks
.
Moreover
 , children can perform their outdoor
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 in the
parks
such
 as playing games with friends.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
youngers
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younger
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 and older people can do walk and different healthy
activties
Correct your spelling
activities
 in the
parks
. To conclude , as the use of open spaces to adjust
over
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
show examples
crowded
Add an article
the crowded
show examples
city
 in new homes have a strong benefit to authority but in my opinion ,
parks
 are more necessary to opens
instead
 of housing. Because
parks
 are important for children , youngsters and old people in order to do different activities.
Submitted by amritpal.grewal0005 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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