Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Nowdays

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

, social

behaviour

has become a

debateable

Correct your spelling

debatable

topic. Whether

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

one

school

of thought reckons that societal norms should be taught to the juveniles by guardians. Whereas, other

thinks

Change the verb form

think

show examples

that schools should teach

this

. The facts of the thesis will be demonstrated in the following paragraphs. One side of the argument

say

Change the verb form

says

show examples

that to become a good society member

children

should get knowledge from their parents because they are the

first

teachers

pupil

Add an article

the pupil

a pupil

show examples

Moreover

children

are more connected with their family members and

also

guardian is well known of their

kids

Change to a genitive case

kid's

kids'

show examples

behaviour

. They

also

know how they carry themselves as well as which whey is the best to teach them. To

examplify

Correct your spelling

exemplify

, a kid

developes

Correct your spelling

develops

his senses by copying elders

therefore

the impact of

behaviour

directly

Add a missing verb

is directly

show examples

connected with the juvenile.

Other

Change the wording

Another

show examples

side of argument reckons that schools should put a step forward to teach

children

about social values. Not only

students

Add a missing verb

do students

show examples

obey

teachers

more than their family but

also

they are in

discipline

Wrong verb form

disciplined

show examples

whenever they are in

school

. So, it is very easy for

teachers

to teach them.

Furthermore

, in some

researches

Add a comma

,researches

show examples

it is

also

discovered that the students are more focused in

school

. Meanwhile, whatever they learn in

school

will remain in their mind for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time. For an instance, a tutor teaches addition ( a term of mathematics) in primary

school

but

this

term remains in the brain for whole life. To sum up, the parents are the

first

teachers

although

in my opinion schools are the best place to teach

Add an article

the student

a student

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

about social

behaviour

because

that is

the place where they meet new people of different cultures. Most of the

children

come

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show examples

school

with a learning

prespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

so, it is very convenient for

teachers

to teach them.

Submitted by amritpal.grewal0005 on Thu Nov 18 2021

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for example
for instance
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to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people asser that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do children behave better when they are physically punished or rewarded?

Nowadays, distance-learning have gained in popularity, but some people argue that courses can never be as good as those taken by attending a college or university in person.To what extent do you agree or disagree

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreighn language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?